grapes

Grapes was an angry looking baby who never cried, not even for food. Armed with an innate knowledge of her awesomeness, baby Grapes would sit and wait for her family to feed her. As little Grapes grew up, she went to a Christian school and learned how to speak old English, sing “God Bless America” like Sean Connery, and say “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance. Little Grapes then moved to a normal elementary school and was weird, but in a nerdy sort of way. After she turned 10, little Grapes turned weird in a dorky way and consequently lost her intelligence except in things such as playing Six Degrees of Grapes’s Dentist. (He looks like everyone.)

All her life, Grapes hated sports but wanted to be a tomboy. Until this summer when she realized she was not a man and began wearing shorts at the expense of other’s eyesight. Today Grapes knowingly has imaginary friends, such as Ernest and her dog, La Poo Poo. Something you must know is that Grapes is ridding herself of her three-year awareness and obsession of Pirates of the Caribbean and consequently Johnny Depp. He has helped her, however, in many ways such as introducing her to his girlfriend Vanessa Paradis’s music, therefore increasing her French listening skills and allowing her to defeat her classmates when they fill in the blanks for French songs.

Now Grapes no longer looks forward to the next Johnny Depp release (Public Enemies – July 2009/The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus – 2009) but to the next time she gets to go to church and/or get free stuff from that lady’s house.

Keep the lookout for Grapes’s dentist!

Some of Grapes’s interests: Mika, movies – the majority of which are still Johnny Depp movies, Chicken Jane, Arty Smartypants and Smarmy Marmy, Shaun the Sheep – particularly Shirley, Wonder Pets, Between the Lions, Arieldepp – Ernest’s writing idol, violin, mono and various other plushies, Richard Scary (sp?) and secretly, secretly (REFERENCE), classical music.