Filed under: sweet dreams are made of this | Tags: Alfred Hitchcock, Arizona Dream, childish, college, dances, death, dream, dreams, fans, financial problems, friends, fun, James Dean, Jerry, Johnny Depp, limits, Miya, money, movies, old, premiere, Public Enemies, raven, reality, road trip, routine, sleep, teenage, theme parks, travel
Okay, enough with the “Alice in Wonderland” thing for right now.
Yesterday, in addition to getting a startling number of views, was the “Public Enemies” premiere. Which I had been planning to go to, but last minute Miya said she couldn’t go. There was no way my dad would let me go alone, so home I stayed. I experienced the premiere through twitter, how revolutionary and exciting. Eventually I ran around my backyard like someone who is mentally ill. My sisters found me and weren’t very comforting. Somehow this led to a game of “cops and robbers”. More like, people trying to be stealthy as they run around the house. It was fun though. Definitely took my mind off the premiere.
Why am I freaking out so much? I guess it’s left over residue from my extreme obsession, during which I also managed to miss every event, even if invited. But on top of that I don’t want to keep passing up these opportunities to see Johnny Depp (and even more than that Jerry, his cool bodyguard) until KABLAMMM they’re both gone and I’m one of those mothers who point at old movies and tell their children, “Oh look! It’s Johnny Depp! He was such a great actor!”
To which their children nod but don’t really believe. How sad.
Or, when Miya and I fulfill our lifelong dream regarding the road trip and a certain “Arizona Dream”. But that would be sad as well, befriending Johnny Depp at the end of his life to bury him in a field of corn in Arizona so he can say “This has been…my Arizona dream.” Oh well. I’m sure the opportunity will come. In any case, I really appreciate that Johnny returned to talk to both sides of the line – he really appreciates his fans.
Anyway, running around like a maniac last night was a lot of fun. That is what life should be, but of course it isn’t. Is it just a phase or am I really someone who wouldn’t be happy with a 9-5 job? Who is happy with a routine? Then again, sometimes I worry about ending up struggling for a living, because I’ve experienced – as we all are right now – financial hardship, and it is like a shackle around your foot. How am I supposed to take summer college programs when they all cost thousands of dollars? How can I experience life, when sadly, money really does make the world go round. I can take joy in small pleasures, but there are some things – like traveling and learning, that cost money.
Perhaps the worst time to not have money is when you’re a teenager. It’s the perfect time to go out and experience a bajillion things. I’ve got college looming ahead like a fatteh cliff. Everything is so optimistic and ideal, ideas pouring out of my brain. And yet I’m limited because my parents are low on money.
In addition to that, there are dances and movies and theme parks to go to with my friends, activities that don’t rank high on my priority list but they are my friends, and I do want to spend time with them.
Teenage years are the time of your life when dreams struggle against reality. Goodness, that was deep.
My sisters are pressuring me to play Clue. Sayonara, Japanese goodbye.
EDIT: Last night I had this Hitchcockian dream, which started out as a fatteh food fest. Anyway, James Dean was in it, and he was being a loner weirdo, but actually he turned out to be a creepy evil man. He called this girl and freaked her out with weird questions, and then she screamed. That scream was ungodly. Then he said something again, and she screamed again and again, but at the wrong times. That’s when I started to realize something was going wrong, and I kind of faded back to reality, when I realized it was some fatteh raven outside going “Caw caw caw caw!” Four times exactly each, and he went on like that for ten minutes. Apparently Shannon heard it in her sleep too, because she slammed her window shut. Twas weird.
Gah…have to go play Clue.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: AP Human Geography, beautiful, Casablanca, Charlie Chaplin, Cherry Blossom Festival, Christina Aguilera, clark gable, Dr. Frank, fatteh, Gone With the Wind, Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Marlon Brando, Miya, Modern Times, Pirates of the Caribbean, Sao Feng, Sayonara, school, stealthy, The Godfather
Psst. Guess where I am?
Huzzah! I am at school 
and this is not my phone.
It’s cooler than it sounds. We hide in the corner under the watchful eye of “Il Padrino” and Charlie Chaplin. And Ingrid Bergman, looking over Humphrey Bogart’s shoulder. Can I please steal some of these movie posters? Ugh. On the far wall is “Gone With the Wind”.
Dr. Frank strikes again! Go away, fatteh. Good god, why are you everywhere?
Miya thinks she’s beautiful, but it’s okay because she’s looking through a funhouse mirror. Teehee. “I am beautiful!” Whatever. Christina Aguilera thought the same thing, and so did millions of fattehs sitting in the corner listening to her single, maybe even singing along.
I have nothing to talk about. Hence the moment of cruelty, but only because Miya is sitting next to me looking up Cherry Blossom Festival 09 for AP Human and she continues to insist she’s easy on the eyes.
“So. You admit. You have deceived me. Weapons!” I’m really bored. Sayonara, Japanese goodbye. Unfortunately “Sayonara” is not one of the movies on the wall in this media lab. Not that I’d want to have it up.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 50's housewife, A Chair for My Mother, actor, amazing, angry asian man, APHG, art, banquet, bees, books, classical music, cool, culture shock, Danny Boyle, director, drama, dressing room, Everyday Lessons, film festival, fish, Forever 21, French, friends, fun, happiness, independent movie, India, interpretive dance, interview, ironing, Keira Knightley, life, magazine, magical, Miya, msn, Nobu, Outsourced, people, personal stories, Phineas and Ferb, Reading Rainbow, shopping, split personality, stick up ass, stop-motion, stuck up, The Duchess, The World is Flat, ugly, ugly flower prints, Vera B. Williams, William Turner, yoga
Whilst shopping with Miya and Nobu Saturday – fun but we got almost nothing done regarding our AP Human project – I suddenly felt like listing things that make me happy on my blog. I know, I’ve done this before, but that list was definitely incomplete. Here are a few more things that have recently made me happy.
1. Ironing. Goodness this is one thing that makes me want to become a 50’s housewife, women’s rights or not. Actually, if I actually think that statement through there is something seriously wrong with it. Ironing caters to my OCD and my love of spraying water with my fingers.
2. Ugly flower prints. I saw plenty of these at Forever 21, and it was while I gazed at Miya punching a mannequin’s ugly flower-print skirt-covered plastic behind when I realized where my desire for an ugly floral armchair comes from. When I was little I read a picture book about a girl whose family goes shopping for a new armchair. They finally settle on this red rose-patterned ugly thing, and her mother loves it. I think they were Mexican. Does anyone recognize this?
Speaking of books that have escaped my memory, has anyone read a book about bees? Not The Secret Life of Bees, but in this book the bees are the characters, like they have conversations and stuff. I read it after waking up from a nasty nightmare.
Oh! I googled it. It’s called A Chair for My Mother by Vera B. Williams. I remember always thinking, “God. Is that Vera B. Williams again? She writes every picture book from ‘Reading Rainbow’”.
Dang, there are all these books I have forgotten.
3. Trying on the ugliest clothes in the store for fun. Unfortunately I don’t have any pictures. Most people go to Windsor with their friends and try on the most elaborate, beautiful dresses. I tried on a grayish fish-smelling maxi dress, strapless blue gingham dress, zebra-print electric blue swim shorts, a denim jumper, and a rainbow plaid skirt. Good god.
4. Magazines. When a magazine page is made well, I actually get excited to read it.
5. Interpretive dances set to classical music. It makes for a very humorous scene, at the very least. It’s also a great workout.
6. Pretending you’re going to wake up early tomorrow and do yoga. Makes one feel accomplished. Gives one the feeling of being hip. You don’t say…
7. Meeting someone who is just amazing. Not a guy, but when you meet a new friend or when you look at your friends and realize they are amazing people, it’s makes you happy and want to hang out with them even more.
Gosh, these explanations are getting shorter and shorter. I’ll just stop here since I’m grasping for ideas now. Let’s skip ahead to tonight’s French Club Banquet. I had some fun, but some stuff happened that gave me things to complain about here.
One thing that irks me about some people is their split personalities. They are, in a sense, bipolar. Not actually, but some days they’re your best friend and others they are just real fattehs. Please, I’d rather you make up your mind.
We were sitting at the same table as KarateTetherballGirl and eventually we became too uncool for her attention. And she turned to the one person who would happily gossip with her about her “drama-filled” life. She seemed really thrilled to have drama in her life. Really thrilled, because she said so herself in a very awe-filled voice.
One thing I couldn’t understand was how talking about everyone you know is more fun than making gay “Twilight” references and laughing about forgetting your parent’s anniversaries.
Another thing that irks me is when people have sticks up their asses. There are three types of stickuptheirass people. The first is like William Turner, and I’ve yet to meet another like him. Since he’s fictional I never really get annoyed at him. Yeah, I yell at the screen but I’m never annoyed from the gut. I don’t know if this makes sense. The next kind is like – what was her pseudonym – my French class partner. Where they never really learned to let go and have fun. And they’re hesitant but sometimes you can have a lot of fun saying the most ridiculous things around them. The last kind is like KarateTetherballGirl. The kind who goes through life doing a lot of looking at people and then turning back to their buddy and saying, “Anyway…” or “Okay…”
The ones who savor being “the only sane ones at the table”. The ones who wouldn’t have fun if you dropped them in a field with their friends.
I take that back. They’d have fun sitting in the corner and talking about the guys at school. And no one would stop them from being put in the corner.
She was mad because one of her friends couldn’t make it to the banquet. Get over it and have fun with the people who are there, even if you don’t know them. Why not get to know them?
Enough bitterness. I had fun nonetheless. That rhymes a little bit. The food was delicious and just the right amount, so I’m content.
For MUSIC, here’s your Angry Asian Man update. It’s in limbo right now. In my head, being contemplated every day. If it doesn’t work out, I’m also planning a stop-motion. If it’s not made this summer, it will be made next year. Chances are it’s this summer.
Last night I watched “Outsourced”, which was like The World is Flat transcribed into dialogue while stuff happens to a white guy in India to demonstrate culture shock. It was a very obvious independent movie. I’m guessing it’s a debut film.
I also saw “The Duchess”, on which I have no thoughts except that I read the script during Oscar season and there’s a reason I don’t like watching movies with my mom sometimes. “Yuck! Is this movie for children? Yuck! Don’t look! You’re peeking!” Yes, Mother, because I like watching Keira Knightley’s bony back twist about in candlelight. Whatever you believe about whether she’s anorexic or not, one cannot deny the bonyness of her back.
Ooh. I just read this on MSN. “Everyday Lessons”.
“Watch all the movies by one actor or director
If you love movies, have your own personal film festival. Rent all the movies created by one director or about a place or that showcases one actress you love. Become an expert on the things you love.”
I guess I’m on my way to enjoying my life.
The creators of “Phineas and Ferb” said this:
“One thing I’d love to teach children is the fact that there is no right or wrong way to draw. Draw what makes you happy and never worry about somebody saying, ‘Oh, that isn’t a good drawing.’ There are so many, infinite drawing styles out there. Your work doesn’t have to look like it’s straight out of a comic book or straight out of an art book. As long as you’re expressing yourself and you’re getting a reaction, then that’s good.”
My Danny Boyle drawings are good. Hahaha.
I’d love to go interview everyone in the world right now. I’m sure everyone’s got something interesting to say. I used to hate personal stories because I thought they weren’t as magical as fiction. What a fatteh.
Whell then. Sayonara, Japanese goodbye. My sisters’ fish count is down to six.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: aboriginal, actor, angry asian man, AP, Are You There God? It's Me Margaret, Arizona Dream, Big Girl (You Are Beautiful), Big Girls, birthday, bonding, Cary Grant, Chiranjeevi, couple, deep, director, Ernest, fangirls, flirt, foster children, Hunk-O-Rama Roundup, Indian, James bond, John Cena, John Dillinger, Johnny Depp, Lane Bryant, love, mall, Mika, Miya, mother, passion, perspective, picture, Public Enemies, religion, script, stealthygrapes, Sushi, Taiwan, twitter, ugly, wolf-whistle, yahoo
I forgot to mention that yesterday I was herded into an aboriginal Taiwanese outfit and was wolf-whistled at. The last time I was wolf-whistled, as I’ve recounted many-a-time because it is so rare an occurrence, was in the middle of a lake by three ugly Mexicans. Not to say all Mexicans are ugly, but these three would have been ugly even if they were White, Chinese, or Polynesian.
Also, that one of the foster/abused children may have been flirting with me but I wouldn’t know for sure because that part of my brain has been hibernating since birth. I hope to god he wasn’t.
Today I called another director – this one wasn’t in the schedule, but I called her anyway in NY, and it went awkwardly well. Then she asked me what my favorite movie was and I said, “Arizona Dream”.
I expected the usual, “Oh…” meaning, “I’ve never seen that.”
But goodness she said, “Oh yeah!” The yeah makes all the difference. Turns out it used to be one of her favorite movies too. Huzzah, I have found the one other person in the world who has seen “Arizona Dream” and recognized it for the genius it is. Johnny Depp fangirls don’t count.
Then later she said, “…you have a unique perspective on things, which you must because you like ‘Arizona Dream’.” I must, I must, I must increase my bust. Shut up, Margaret. No one cares about you. Go put on a pad.
She also said that “Angry Asian Man” sounded pretty good. Huzzah, it’s not as odd as I thought it would be.
Dr. Frank did not show up. I live to see another day.
I went to the mall with my mother, who lovingly ended the mother-daughter bonding with “Your face is ugly, like Mulan’s.” Mom, you are so bipolar sometimes. Of course, you (readers, not my mom) would know this if you followed the play-by-play on my twitter. What’s this? Another chance to blatantly advertise my twittar? Why yes, it is @stealthygrapes.
Follow me and we will become a religion. I only need five more people.
What is important about the mall is that I waited for my mother in Lane Bryant, a store which no longer contains cushy chairs to sit in while you wait for the Big Girl in your family to decide whether or not they want to buy clothing. Big girls are sensitive and undecisive, so they take a long time and usually end up not buying anything at all. I stood in the middle of the store on my blackberry typing up parts of a script while an old woman sat on a bra display and stared at me. Huzzah. They played this song that celebrated larger women, and I wanted to march up to the counter and ask if they’d ever heard of “Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)”. I even contemplated hooking up my blackberry to the speaker system and playing it from there.
I wonder what old people think when I whip out my blackberry. “What a nice gir-oh, she’s just like the rest of them pesky teenagers, always on their darn technology. Probably doesn’t even eat dinner with her family.”
Ooh, what’s this on Yahoo? Hunk-O-Rama Roundup. Whell. Johnny Depp better be in this. John Cena? Oh yesh, he was in that movie where he pulled a girl out of a building, it exploded on him, and he lived. Poop.
#8. kafjksfjkljweklfjew. They picked a bad picture too. Who picks pictures for these things? They’re always horrible pictures of Johnny Depp, or the one where he’s on a stool with his fedora smiling slightly creepishly at you.
“Deep down, we have a sneaking suspicion that Depp’s kind of like Cary Grant — he just plays variations of himself over and over. Still, we get suckered for his aloof charm every time. He’ll pull the wool over our eyes again as outlaw John Dillinger in “Public Enemies“.
Although, it may be true.
Why have I returned to blogging about Johnny Depp again? This is bad. I should go get Ernest ready for his birthday.
I saw an Indian couple today, actually acting like they were in love. Which is rare, but it made me think of Sushi and Chiranjeevi, if they had lasted. Of course, I still can’t decide between Sushiranjeevi and Sushi/James Bond.
Wow, now I’m going to go deep and say that if I were in Sushi’s position it would be a difficult choice. She obviously loves Chiranjeevi a lot, and they’re very passionate about each other, but James Bond loves her so much too – he’d do anything for her.
Oh Sushi. You are pretty odd.
Miya, I need mine script. And we also need to start actor hunting – which I’m intimidated by but is necessary for a good movie.
Huzzah huzzah huzzah. Everyone have a good day and AP week.
Filed under: gift guides | Tags: arabesque, auction, birthday, blood, connecticut, crazy cat lady game, crocheted leaflet tights, dance class, Danny Boyle, Disney, Edward Scissorhands, fangirl, Gale, gift guide, gifts, gloves, grandpa hairtuft, hairy legs, interviews, Jerry Bruckheimer, Johnny Depp, Lone Ranger, lonely, michael jackson, Miya, mono, oprah, props, road trip, shang, STAR testing, stealthygrapes, sweat, Tonto, trailer, twitter, Youtube
I originally wanted to attack everyone with pictures of Danny Boyle, whom I have taken up drawing on every surface I see. I don’t think that was gramatically correct, nor ecumenically, nor spiritually, but I just woke up from a nap that went too long and began too late. I will, however, watch numerous interviews of Danny Boyle on Youtube, something I have never done before. Huzzah.
Miya. The Gale to my Oprah, the Tonto to my Lone Ranger. Scratch that, I’d rather be Tonto, as Johnny Depp is portraying him in a 2010/2011 movie headed by Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer. Now that I’ve told you, I expect you to not run up to your local Johnny Depp fangirl – who will have to do in place of me, I guess, although I am not a fangirl - one month before “The Lone Ranger” comes out, and tell them that you can’t wait for that new Johnny Depp movie. They will shun you for being an ignorant poop.
Back to the subject at hand. Miya’s birthday was two days ago, and I gave her the gift of joining twitter with her. Oh look! A perfect chance to self-promote! Mein twitter is @stealthygrapes. Huzzah.
But here are gifts that I would give her if I were rich and not lethargic.
1. Crazy Cat Lady Game; so that she can practice for the lonely thirty years spent waiting for me in the trailer.
fredflare, $22
2. Crocheted Leaflet Tights; so that her legs always look hairy.
fredflare, $12
3. Arabesque; so she can always be reminded of what we couldn’t achieve in dance class.
rock 'n rose jewellery, 10 pounds
4. Mono; for staring contests and incentive to buy the whole bio gang. Also, because Mono needs her Grandpa Hairtuft. And her uncle, Michael Jackson. And her other uncle, Shang. Do you remember our original road trip plans? To drive to Connecticut and steal the whole lot…
giant microbes, $7.95
5. Edward Scissorhand Gloves; so she can’t.
Michael Jackson auction, $4000-6000
Those are the real gloves from the movie that, by now, have been mentioned too many times. And there’s probably dried up Johnny Depp hand sweat on them…and blood, because he cut himself so many times. I’m only mentioning this because I know there are fangirls who like that stuff…
Happy belated birthday Ayim.
I’ll be back with another post perhapsedly tomorrow, because we have STAR testing and thus early dismissal. In the meantime, my fears have come true and I can’t stop twittering. Follow me if you’re already in the trap, but if you’re not – stay out and keep your life.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: elementary, gift guide, juvenile, Miya, open house, school, shun, teacher
Tonight was my elementary school’s open house, and all went well-ish. Teachers recognized me and Amanda got shunned a lot. But the most awkward was my fourth grade teacher.
Amanda forced me to go into his room because she was avoiding Joshua…blah blah blah. And then we were being kind of weird so my teacher started looking at me… so I had to say hi. Then he walked towards us but then it was really shunful and awkward so he moved away again. Shuuuunnnn.
I apologize for this extremely juvenile post – not that my other posts are not juvenile – but I must record this for when I am sixty and can relive this horrible moment. Hi, old Grapes. How are you? Is your hair black still?
Stay tuned tomorrow for Miya’s gift guide. Twill be exciting!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: birthday, Cabbage Patch Dolls, Easter, hospital, Miya, party, trip
In honor of Miya’s birthday/Easter party, I’m going to talk about Cabbage Patch Dolls! There’s no relation between the two, I just wanted to point this article out.
Read it to the end.
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2074
Alright buddies, who wants to go visit with me?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: devil, DVD, filmography, frolic, Johnny Depp, Knott's Berry Farm, ladybugs, Miya, movie, PE, Robert Pattinson, Sushi, the ninth gate
“Graaaapes,” she says sweetly, “I saw a Johnny Depp movie today at the piano teacher’s house.”
Immediately, I light up. Unable to contain my grin, I say, “Which one?”
“The Ninth Gate.”
What blasphemy is this?! Why does this movie keep popping up everywhere? After I had listed Johnny Depp’s entire filmography during homeroom, Miya and I figured out that the DVD on her grandma’s shelves was indeed, “The Ninth Gate”.
It’s calling to me or something.
Maybe I should watch it. Even though I already know that Johnny Depp has scandalous with the devil. Oops. Enjoy the movie anyway!
Comps are this week, and I cannot wait to be roller coaster buddies with Sushi at Knott’s.
Did I mention that PE is the best, because I get to frolick? And not like, la dee dah dee dum frolicking. Real frolicking. The kind you shouldn’t do because you sprained your toe the night before. The one where you could potentially land wrong when you come down from that giant airy leap you took with an exquisitely off-tune laaaaaaaaaaa.
Hiding in bushes is fun too, I guess. But not as fun as frolicking.
Also, Miya set a herd of ladybugs on me. Never again. Well, okay…maybe once more.
I also took a quiz on seventeen.com and apparently Robert Pattinson and I are meant to be…I just know myself so well, don’t I? But one can’t marry oneself.
