grapes

School hath begun again. Huzzah? Ehh…

I think if there was a recently run-over frog somewhere on a dusty road (probably by Toad from Wind in the Willows) it would make the same sound (Ehhh…) as the air left it’s windpipes. Huzzah for that, then.

Sushi would shun me, but she’s still in India. Huzzah for animal cruelty while Sushi’s away. Okay, so that I don’t get tarred and feathered by animal rights activists, I don’t condone animal cruelty.

Today was…interesting. Actually, no. It was extremely dull, but we did have that odd-in-a-bad-way sub in PE. She’s usually a first-grade student teacher, but she came to teach fat, lazy energetic, enthusiastic high school girls about the wonder of step aerobics, ballet, and jazz dance to the tune of “Bleeding Love”. Yes, I just discovered the strike-through button.

Ms. W, as she thoughtfully shortened her originally two-syllable name which I will not mention on this blog for privacy purposes. Who knows, someone out there may have a first-grade teacher fetish. Gross. Although, “w” is three syllables. I think it would be much more fun for first-graders to just call her by her full name. After all there are fun sounds in it, like “wop!” and half of “neener” in “neenerneenerneener”. (See how I have stealthily I have maintained vaguality, and it doesn’t matter if that’s a word.) “Neenerneenerneener” is the sound you make when you’re a kid and you try to be a real kid (I’m a real boy!) by imitating the imposter kids on TV who are really 17 years old. It’s just an endless cycle of imposterism, really. 

What was I talking about? *scrolls up* Okay, I wasn’t planning on really scrolling up but I ended up believing myself and so I did. I was going to sit here for half an hour trying to remember without scrolling up, but that obviously failed. Oh yesh. Ms. W’s name. I think it would be to help the young childrens learn the alphabet. Oh crap it’s almost 9 PM. I should slepp.(this typo is the last dregs of my PotC obsession appearing in the abominable “Johnny Depp pun” that causes Depptionaries. I was going to name fansites but that would be shunful. I don’t want legions of fangirls setting off with torches.)

Back to Ms. W for the 2nd time. She told us to use our inside voices. Haven’t heard that one since 2nd grade. Okay, 6th but elementary school was belittling in general. It was like the dance room was a time machine and Ms. W was taking us back to a time of graham crackers, celery, peanut butter, and apple juice. But without the modern marvel that is ”Wonder Pets”.

At this point the reader sits back and thinks, “Oh god this is another one of those teenage rant blogs. Look at how this “issue” spins her world. Just wait until she has to worry about mortgages and the recession.” Yes, I am aware of the recession, contrary to teenage stereotype. Bah humbug. I don’t know, I just thought that that was appropriately inappropriate. Just like farting loudly would have been in dance class. Or yelling “roxercise” and playing my fat, the latter of which I did. No one had enough turbo power for farting loudly. Ah, if only sushi were here.

Oh yes. The most ridiculous part was not when she accused us of talking too loud when our group had not been talking at all (a common complaint of teenagers about teachers and some parents), it was when she started putting people on time-out.

I know I haven’t heard of time-out since 2nd grade. Maybe third but that was the deceptively happy year of playing “Sink”, a self-invented game, with Shannon and Evelyn. Not my sister Shannon. It would be the beginning of a ridiculous love-hate relationship that be nicely cliche enough for the big screen.

So. Ms. W. She put people on time-out. Also she turned on the lights to get our attention and said, “Ah, see how quiet you guys can be?”

WHAT A STEALTHY EVIL MOVE. Of course we’re quiet when you call for our attention, but you’re the one that let us talk all period. Talking creates noise, caused by soundwaves. But I don’t think they teach that in first grade. No, they teach you what’s going to work. Teamwork. And then later when she had creeped us out with her time-outing of people (and what was the basis for being picked?) and we had become quiet in the way that people in concentration camps are quiet when the next batch to be gassed is being chosen. Pigs are not quiet when the next batch to become ham is being chosen. They squeal and run about, as seen in many a movie, including the most recent adaptation of “Charlotte’s Web” starring Will’s adrogynous son as Wilbur. Also mentioned by my Chinese teacher, who likes to describe animals at their last moments. Apparently sheep bow down and cry, which in turn tears up Sushi when I tell her this.

We were all quiet in that way, and then she goes, “This is a good volume,” except everyone was silent with fear. It would have been a good moment for the gaseous escape of methane from a behind. Ridiculous is the only word I can think up for this situation, as evidenced by the many times it has been ridiculously used in this post.

What else? Oh yes, we watched “Man of La Mancha” in English. Sometimes I can sense that the rest of my class doesn’t get something when we’re watching a movie while I’ve understood it from the start. Like the beginning, when it’s obviously people putting on a play. People in class kept going, “What the-”, which is the standard response for anything out of the ordinary. The ordinary is stuff like “Gossip Girl” and “the OC”. Sad but true. Also, sad dramas of divorce/death/sickness/murder. Sometimes murder is also a puzzle to them.

Then I began to wonder whether filmmakers think about the intelligence of their audience. Do they wonder if the audience will get what the ambiguous opening scene is? Or if they’ll get references? I know no one would get my references unless they had lived with me for at least a day. And then I realized that filmmakers have to know a lot of things. They’re seen as the idiots of the world really, besides the homeless and drop-outs. (This is just the stereotype) I mean, people tell me all the time that if I want to be a director I don’t have to really pay attention in school. Which is true, but I don’t think in the same way as they think. I could learn all the stuff (not the technicalities of filmmaking) needed to make a good movie outside of school. But I think when people tell me that they mean that it’s a job where you don’t need education because you can be stupid. Filmmakers may be stupid in math or whatever, but they have to be smart with words, culture, history, in order to make a good movie. So during “Man of La Mancha” I was thinking about whether that stuff is worth knowing more than medicine and law. Okay, I’ve kind of driven myself into a wall now. I don’t really know where I was before. Ignore this. Haha but I’ve wasted several minutes of your life.

In AP Human we learned that humans like to influence others and I immediately thought of Miya’s six-degrees chart. To save space she wrote grapes on the bottom and almost off the paper. Anything related to me would be off the paper, and pretty much everything linked there. Huzzah.

PS. When it comes to college, I hate being the first child of an immigrant family.