Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Angela, beaurocracy, Ben Stiller, bloopers, books, CD, cheesy, cleaning, cliche, deleted scenes, Disney, epilogue, Ernest, escapist, hobo, India, intelligence, Jack Sparrow, LA Film Festival, La Poo Poo, MovieCube, music, Pineapple Express, premiere, Public Enemies, Ralph's, RedBox, soundtrack, stopmotion, summer, Sundays at Tiffany's, Sushi, taboo, Tropic Thunder, Twilight, Wal-Mart, walking, wizard costume
Hola, it is summer! Hola hola hola. Tomorrow I’m going to the LA Film Festival avec mine journalism internship. Excited? Actually, not that much, despite the fact that I asked for us to go. To be honest, I asked because “Public Enemies” is premiering there – but the $100 ticket price soon dampened my dreams.
I’d like to direct you all to Ernest and La Poo Poo’s blogs, where updates have been posted for you.
Every morning, I wake up and feel like something’s off. Something is off – I should be at school. It’s going to take me a bit of time to get used to this freedom. Usually I’m take no time in adjusting, and it’s at the middle of summer that I start missing school. Oh vell.
Next week I plan to go stake out the “Public Enemies” premiere with some friends. For now I’ll be content with finally doing some reading I never had time for during the school year. I went to Costco and bought three books, two of which are going to be returned tomorrow. The one remaining book is Public Enemies“, I’m almost ashamed to admit. Okay, Johnny Depp did inevitably factor into my reasoning, but I really am interested in reading about gangsters in the 30’s.
I should have known Sundays at Tiffany’s was going to be one big cheesy romance. The title indicates something that runs throughout the book – good writing exchanged for a quick and clever joke that is really just a cliche with a twist. Basically, every character says something clever every time they speak. The book, I’m sorry to say, reads like a mediocre fanfiction. At times I thought I was reading Twilight. The tenses kept switching back and forth. I could forgive the writer if the girl had actually died, but no. It turns out it was her mother, and so the girl’s mysterious vomiting is laid aside. Did I forget to mention there’s an epilogue? A bad sign. Harry Potter 7 had an epilogue, and that book may have been the worst out of the series. Well yes, in this book they have children too.
I’m willing to like a cheesy book if it’s somewhat well-written, even if it’s escapist and romantic. But this book was just a huge disappointment. The premise lures you in. Don’t be lured in.
Okay, book review’s over.
I’m doing my summer cleaning right now. Gah, it is a big fat hassle. I spent today cleaning to the tune of all my old CD’s. Embarassing Disney/nonDisney stuff, to say the least. Whatever, it’s a part of me I guess.
On the last day of school, we walked over to Towne Center and had lunch. Now I know what it feels like to be a hobo, because I only had three bucks on me so I had two things from the dollar menu at McDonald’s. Anyway, we saw a lot of old elementary school buddies, and not so buddies. I’ll just say that I’m grateful for being at my high school rather than the normal one. No matter how weird some of us get, we’re all guaranteed to be somewhat intelligent and sensible.
Then we walked to Sushi’s house and sat with her. Oh, wow. She’s in India right now. She was leaving midnight that day, but we just…walked into her house. And borrowed her wizard costume, huzzah! I hope Jonathan fits into it. Then Angela decided to go home because it was way too hot, so she left and we followed.
Oh yesh, Sushi’s keyboard makes the perfect noises for our soundtrack.
At Angela’s house, we ate her food, as usual. And played Taboo. I’ve decided – we will play at my birthday. Huzzah. Except that everyone kept using me as an example.
Amanda: Katherine is weird, right? So you would tell her to see a…
The answer is shrink, and yes, I got that one. Afterwards we went upstairs and Sunyoung had to go home. Amanda fell asleep for half an hour, Angela watched 90210 on her computer and played facebook games. I read H&M magazine. Did you know you can hire your own paparazzi for a day? Um…it’s the worst part of being a celebrity. But okay, if it floats your boat.
Finally Angela had to return her DVD’s to Ralph’s moviecube box, so off we went to borrow some more. Stupid box wouldn’t work. That’s the second time it hasn’t worked for me. We asked the cashier but she said, “We’re not associated with the box, but if you have any question you can call this number.” Beaurocratic much. I gave her much subtle attitude. Hahaha passive aggressive. No matter, we drove to Wal-Mart, with the much better Redbox, and rented “Tropic Thunder”. Of course we were sad that Redbox did not have “Pineapple Express”, which MovieCube did.
“Tropic Thunder”, as you may have heard, is one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen. Ben Stiller, you have redeemed your entire career with one movie.
Thinking of holding a meeting next week with everyone involved in the stopmotion. “Thinking…of putting in French doors actually.” Oh Jack Sparrow, why is your voice so strange in that deleted scene/blooper?
That is all. Goodnight and goodluck, everyone.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: adult, beauty, Cerritos College, children, deep, Ernest, film festival, fish, fun, grapes, group project, happiness, interview, Japanese game show, Johnny Depp, Karate Tetherball Girl, literature, love life, movie, MTV Movie Awards, nicknames, optimism, orchestra, PMS, Public Enemies, screenplay, screenplays, summer, superpower, Sushi, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Wife of Bath's Tale, thoughts, Vanity Fair, What Women Want, writing
Hold tight, Ernest will be back sometime this weekend.
My sister’s fish went through some sort of mysterious trauma yesterday and now they’re always hiding. It’s hilarious, really, when they all huddle under the filter and try to stealthily swim to the other side of the tank. When you scatter food they hide until one of them gets the courage to dart and nip at the food. Very stealthy, except that as a human, I can see all.
We’re down to six fish, and one of the silver ones tried to eat the last corpse. Silly fish, you’re such a fatteh.
Today was a lot of fun, because I didn’t go to school for half the day. I was at Cerritos College taking the assessment test and enrolling in Psych 101. Now that that’s done with, I’m almost finished with all my summer preparations. Huzzah.
It was also the last orchestra rehearsal of this school year. I’m happy, of course, because orchestra tends to smack you in the face Monday morning, but I think I am going to miss it.
I just slaved away on a group project by myself. It’s been a while since that’s happened, but aside from a twinge of annoyance as I copied an excerpt of “The Wife of Bath’s Tale” paragraph by paragraph, I welcome my group’s unreliability. For one, I’ve been happy for way too long. And I don’t mean this in a sadistic self-harming way, but that I wanted my happiness to be challenged. I wanted to know whether it was the circumstances around me or a real change in my personality that caused my incessant optimism. The only exception to my optimism is around PMS time, when, like clockwork, I get snappy at everyone.
And now that the final draft is finished, I love the way it looks. I love putting together packets like this, the ones that are like written ready-made missions for fourth graders. And what’s nice is that all the while I kept thinking, “This isn’t so bad,” rather than “I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.”
But enough of that. My sister’s computer was down for a while last night and I thought maybe I had lost half of my screenplays. Tomorrow night’s the Whitney Film Festival and I’m debating whether or not to go. It really depends on the amount of homework I have, as everything does. I can’t wait until summer. I’m really hoping this doesn’t end up a wasted summer, because how many more of these will I get? After I graduate high school it will pretty much be all work and little play.
I love how vague we all are on our blogs. Heck, I don’t even reveal my real name on here. Of course, I respond to Grapes in real life, and actually my real name sounds really strange to me, but still. For me, I have to really trust someone before I put their real names on my blog. As for Sushi, I’m just scared one day her Indian family will sue me for the blasphemous things I say about her love life. Not that it isn’t true, everything that she’s done. Like date James Bond and Chiranjeevi.
I like having the nicknames though. Like KarateTetherballGirl. It’s fairly obvious who she is but it sounds like a minor character in an indie movie or a “young adult” novel. God, I hate young adult novels. I like children’s literature, and I like adult literature. Not…”adult literature”. I mean like, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy sort of stuff, not Wild Nights in Williamsburg With Sushi. Good god.
I was just thinking in the shower, not about little Japanese game show boys this time, but about being able to hear other people’s thoughts. Then, just as I was about to get all happy about this new imagined superpower, “What Women Want” popped into my head, as it often does when I wish I could hear people’s thoughts. Stupid movie, it never knows to knock before entering.
I imagine that it would be irritating though, having to wade through “That woman, she’s so beautiful. What a divine goddess. What’s her name? Sushi? Oh, nevermind how it sounds. She’s perfect. Look at those curves.” And so on.
I’m trying to get back to writing stuff other than screenplays. Of course I’ll still be working on scripts, but I think it’ll be nice to stick with some traditional writing as well.
With that, I’ll leave you before I get too profound and deep. I know too much of that tends to get irritating.
Meanwhile, Johnny Depp has appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair, I think the first magazine cover he’s done in a while that isn’t a “Public Enemies” still, and there’s also that clip of “Public Enemies” from the MTV Movie Awards yesterday. First interview he’s done in a while too.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: analyze, AP Human Geography, Australia, balance, blog, Cassie, concussion, death, dogs, Dragon Tales, fear, hormones, human nature, idiot, kangaroo, koala, meat, Natasha Richardson, Ord, Outback Steakhouse, PMS, present, Public Enemies, rant, sister, Star Trek, Sushi, teenager, twitter, Vegemite, vegetarian cookbook
AP Human is in two days. Am I afraid? Not really, ask me again when the day comes. I’ll be freaking out and wanting to die.
Human nature is so strange. I find it fascinating that within less than a day someone can be completely different, unable to remember how they felt just an hour ago.
My sister is beginning her “hormonal” stage. And because I’ve been unbelievably happy for a year, I can’t remember how it feels to feel like a failure. By the transitive property, I’m not very comforting.
There’s really nothing to blog about. There’s an hour by hour commentary of my thoughts running on twitter, but there’s really nothing that angers or upsets me enough to be ranted about in a full-length post.
Although my dad did annoy me a bit today.
But that’s not what you’re here for. What are you here for?
I’m racking my brains for something to blog about. Nope. Wow…let’s analyze this situation dorkily. But first, I dare you to define analyze.
Analyze: to take apart and examine each individual part. Correct!
I’m so happy that I have encountered blogger’s block. Guh, I just invented one of those nasty invented phrases.
Definitely! I wish, I wish, to use this rhyme, to go back home until next time. I used to hate “Dragon Tales”. I thought Ord was a fatteh, which he was, and Cassie was a poop. I like Ord now, maybe because I identify with him.
I like balancing things. Is there a job where you get to physically balance things? Oh my goodness, at my birthday we shall have a great balancing contest. 
Meanwhile, Sushi’s birthday is this Saturday and I’ve got her vegetarian cookbook waiting to be wrapped. She’d say, “That’s what I get for not stopping three of my buddies from each giving Grapes Border’s gift cards for Christmas.” And guess what? There’s still $20 left, so Amanda gets to be the next lucky book recipient.
Today at lunch we talked about meats. If we had an Australian Club at our school there’d be trips to Outback Steakhouse and samples of vegemite. Fruit salad, yummy yummy. I imagine kangaroo to be chewy and koala to be a fatteh. Sushi loved this conversation, especially when Amanda described how in China there was this market and in a butcher shop hung bulldogs. Delicious walnut.
I’d like to see “Star Trek”, but I only have one free movie ticket left and I’d like to save that for ”Public Enemies”.
Edit: This post was meant for yesterday, but my computer pooped out on me.
And now, for today.
I’m pretty sure I have a concussion from hitting myself in the back of the head. There was a cause, just so you don’t think I’m too much of an idiot. Apparently my hair was sticking out in the back. Don’t you dare laugh. Stop that!
Although, I do feel like an idiot sometimes. I have ranted about this before, so it must be PMS season, but I adopt this little kid persona and people talk down to me, even if they mean well. 
I’m excited but anxious for these next two weeks. Goodness gracious, it will be fun but really busy. I think this will be one of those rare moments when I wish for a quiet moment. And that’s why I’ll probably take a nap after this.
I’m scared though…after you get a concussion, if you sleep, do you never wake up!?!?
And what if I hit myself too hard and the same thing that happened to Natasha Richardson happens to me?
This could be the last you hear from me. This and my tweet about this. Miraculously, I haven’t thought of twitter for an entire day. Huzzah.
Well. That cycle has been broken, by the creation of three very clever tweets.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: aboriginal, actor, angry asian man, AP, Are You There God? It's Me Margaret, Arizona Dream, Big Girl (You Are Beautiful), Big Girls, birthday, bonding, Cary Grant, Chiranjeevi, couple, deep, director, Ernest, fangirls, flirt, foster children, Hunk-O-Rama Roundup, Indian, James bond, John Cena, John Dillinger, Johnny Depp, Lane Bryant, love, mall, Mika, Miya, mother, passion, perspective, picture, Public Enemies, religion, script, stealthygrapes, Sushi, Taiwan, twitter, ugly, wolf-whistle, yahoo
I forgot to mention that yesterday I was herded into an aboriginal Taiwanese outfit and was wolf-whistled at. The last time I was wolf-whistled, as I’ve recounted many-a-time because it is so rare an occurrence, was in the middle of a lake by three ugly Mexicans. Not to say all Mexicans are ugly, but these three would have been ugly even if they were White, Chinese, or Polynesian.
Also, that one of the foster/abused children may have been flirting with me but I wouldn’t know for sure because that part of my brain has been hibernating since birth. I hope to god he wasn’t.
Today I called another director – this one wasn’t in the schedule, but I called her anyway in NY, and it went awkwardly well. Then she asked me what my favorite movie was and I said, “Arizona Dream”.
I expected the usual, “Oh…” meaning, “I’ve never seen that.”
But goodness she said, “Oh yeah!” The yeah makes all the difference. Turns out it used to be one of her favorite movies too. Huzzah, I have found the one other person in the world who has seen “Arizona Dream” and recognized it for the genius it is. Johnny Depp fangirls don’t count.
Then later she said, “…you have a unique perspective on things, which you must because you like ‘Arizona Dream’.” I must, I must, I must increase my bust. Shut up, Margaret. No one cares about you. Go put on a pad.
She also said that “Angry Asian Man” sounded pretty good. Huzzah, it’s not as odd as I thought it would be.
Dr. Frank did not show up. I live to see another day.
I went to the mall with my mother, who lovingly ended the mother-daughter bonding with “Your face is ugly, like Mulan’s.” Mom, you are so bipolar sometimes. Of course, you (readers, not my mom) would know this if you followed the play-by-play on my twitter. What’s this? Another chance to blatantly advertise my twittar? Why yes, it is @stealthygrapes.
Follow me and we will become a religion. I only need five more people.
What is important about the mall is that I waited for my mother in Lane Bryant, a store which no longer contains cushy chairs to sit in while you wait for the Big Girl in your family to decide whether or not they want to buy clothing. Big girls are sensitive and undecisive, so they take a long time and usually end up not buying anything at all. I stood in the middle of the store on my blackberry typing up parts of a script while an old woman sat on a bra display and stared at me. Huzzah. They played this song that celebrated larger women, and I wanted to march up to the counter and ask if they’d ever heard of “Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)”. I even contemplated hooking up my blackberry to the speaker system and playing it from there.
I wonder what old people think when I whip out my blackberry. “What a nice gir-oh, she’s just like the rest of them pesky teenagers, always on their darn technology. Probably doesn’t even eat dinner with her family.”
Ooh, what’s this on Yahoo? Hunk-O-Rama Roundup. Whell. Johnny Depp better be in this. John Cena? Oh yesh, he was in that movie where he pulled a girl out of a building, it exploded on him, and he lived. Poop.
#8. kafjksfjkljweklfjew. They picked a bad picture too. Who picks pictures for these things? They’re always horrible pictures of Johnny Depp, or the one where he’s on a stool with his fedora smiling slightly creepishly at you.
“Deep down, we have a sneaking suspicion that Depp’s kind of like Cary Grant — he just plays variations of himself over and over. Still, we get suckered for his aloof charm every time. He’ll pull the wool over our eyes again as outlaw John Dillinger in “Public Enemies“.
Although, it may be true.
Why have I returned to blogging about Johnny Depp again? This is bad. I should go get Ernest ready for his birthday.
I saw an Indian couple today, actually acting like they were in love. Which is rare, but it made me think of Sushi and Chiranjeevi, if they had lasted. Of course, I still can’t decide between Sushiranjeevi and Sushi/James Bond.
Wow, now I’m going to go deep and say that if I were in Sushi’s position it would be a difficult choice. She obviously loves Chiranjeevi a lot, and they’re very passionate about each other, but James Bond loves her so much too – he’d do anything for her.
Oh Sushi. You are pretty odd.
Miya, I need mine script. And we also need to start actor hunting – which I’m intimidated by but is necessary for a good movie.
Huzzah huzzah huzzah. Everyone have a good day and AP week.
Filed under: gift guides | Tags: Chiranjeevi, collector's set, evite, fredflare, free spirit, from abba to zoom, gift cards, gift guide, hair, hitler: the commander, India, James bond, love, madonna, movie, organic bike tote, pop culture, Rainbow Brite, scandalous, Sushi, sweet sixteen, t-shirt, The Soup, who's that girl
In honor of receiving Mr. and Mrs. R.’s evite to their daughter Sushi’s Sweet Sixteen at the Rupee Room, here is the list of presents I would give Sushi if I were rich. As it is, she will be receiving a tastefully chosen book from Borders bought with part of the $50 worth of gift cards my friends all decided to give me at Christmas. Karma is a chienne.
1. Organic Bike Tote. An organic tote bag, with a bike on it. Also, the words “free spirit”, which describe Sushi perfectly. All her loves in one present, huzzah!
fredflare, $24
2. Madonna Who’s That Girl tee. Didn’t we say that Sushi has curls like Madonna’s? And couldn’t Sushi be Madonna, with her “innocence”? And isn’t “Who’s That Girl” synonymous to “Who’s that on the street?”
fredflare, on sale: $19.99
3. James Bond Limited Edition Ultimate Collector’s Set. So that Sushi can wallow over what she lost, rather, threw away, and hopefully realize that she should get him back. And maybe, if he returns, he’ll realize that it’s not a box of love letters from Chiranjeevi, but a shrine to him. And they’ll get back together.
amazon uk, 399.99 pounds
4. “Hitler: The Commander”. What could be better than seeing her former love Chiranjeevi portray her even formerer love in a great movie from her homeland?
amazon, $71.43
5. From Abba to Zoom: A Pop Culture Encyclopedia of the Late 20th Century . Because god knows she needs it.
amazon, $12.89
If you didn’t get anything I just said, it’s okay. Just enjoy the pretty pictures.
Thanks for the evite, Mr. and Mrs. R. I’m abbreviating your names because I know you wouldn’t appreciate me putting your identity online, and because I know my readers wouldn’t appreciate trying to pronounce it.
Sushi thinks those pictures are not online…teehee.
Although, your evite had this huge gaping hole in the middle and I stared at it for fifteen minutes waiting for a picture to load. Also, where the heck is the Rupee Room? Sounds like there’s a mystical journey awaiting me. I’d better take some star sprinkles.
Ride Starlight, ride!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: devil, DVD, filmography, frolic, Johnny Depp, Knott's Berry Farm, ladybugs, Miya, movie, PE, Robert Pattinson, Sushi, the ninth gate
“Graaaapes,” she says sweetly, “I saw a Johnny Depp movie today at the piano teacher’s house.”
Immediately, I light up. Unable to contain my grin, I say, “Which one?”
“The Ninth Gate.”
What blasphemy is this?! Why does this movie keep popping up everywhere? After I had listed Johnny Depp’s entire filmography during homeroom, Miya and I figured out that the DVD on her grandma’s shelves was indeed, “The Ninth Gate”.
It’s calling to me or something.
Maybe I should watch it. Even though I already know that Johnny Depp has scandalous with the devil. Oops. Enjoy the movie anyway!
Comps are this week, and I cannot wait to be roller coaster buddies with Sushi at Knott’s.
Did I mention that PE is the best, because I get to frolick? And not like, la dee dah dee dum frolicking. Real frolicking. The kind you shouldn’t do because you sprained your toe the night before. The one where you could potentially land wrong when you come down from that giant airy leap you took with an exquisitely off-tune laaaaaaaaaaa.
Hiding in bushes is fun too, I guess. But not as fun as frolicking.
Also, Miya set a herd of ladybugs on me. Never again. Well, okay…maybe once more.
I also took a quiz on seventeen.com and apparently Robert Pattinson and I are meant to be…I just know myself so well, don’t I? But one can’t marry oneself.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Alice in Wonderland, clowns, deep, Deep Roy, friends, Johnny Depp, makeover, parents, poopy, room, scandalous, Sushi
Back for my second post of the day! Huzzah.
I love when bloggers update often. Here’s looking at you, Miya.
Actually, I’m back because I just found a treasure trove of other people’s blogs (people that I know) and now I must outdo them. That’s the thing with me, I know I can outdo people, but there’s no recognition. This isn’t deepish or anything royish either, but my life has been a series of screwups. (I’m not being deep right now, and that wasn’t sarcasm.) I do wonderful on practice tests, then mess up the real thing. I never do the best I can, even if I try.
Why is blogging so fun!?!?!?
This post sucks. My outdoing plan has failed huzzah?
Yesh, so I’m reading everyone else’s blog and going, “Teehee, my blog > your blog.” And eating assorted nuts that make me feel like I’m at a stinky old pub, even though I’ve never been in a pub…ever.
I really really want to travel. I’ve got wanderlust, and that sounds scandalous. Sounds like something Sushi would get, and she would cure it by traveling with her bicycle. Getting around, seeing things, you know?
But yes, I’ve got this random dream to go bed&breakfasting in Europe, and to go sailing in Maine.
Because recently I’ve discovered people’s blogs - and I don’t know anyone like that. People who do things, crazy things like throw a birthday party in an old movie theater or go to Peru just because. Okay, maybe those aren’t crazy enough. But I could never throw a party like that because, well, who would willingly go?
Crap, this has turned into another deep post, just the opposite of what I intended. I’m not going to tell my friends that I’m feeling deep, because remember what happened last time?
Let’s move past that.
I opened my email to a joyous surprise! New videos from girl-with-earliest-JohnnyDepp-stuff! There was some new “Alice in Wonderland” stuff – can’t wait. The thought of Alan Rickman’s head superimposed on a caterpillar, his voice coming from that contraption, that is huzzah.
I have my first job shadow meeting on Tuesday. Now the real challenge comes, because this time we are ordering at Starbucks, and I can’t order anywhere. Plus there’s the awkward situations that come with food and other people.
The worst thing is eating noodles in public. It’s like, you look up and there’s blood all over your face. Excuse me, tomato sauce.
I can’t help feeling like I want to get out of here and do something (dot org). Let’s have a day where we all just go frolic in the park. But not CPE. I don’t think I can ever go there again.
Darn you, flasherman! You’ve just ruined one of my favorite parks in the city. The one where I used to go early in the morning, run and wave at the old Chinese people doing taichi under the rotunda, and feel the itchiness of my pores opening on my thighs.
Seriously, they do. And you sweat.
I need to exercise. But at least I’ve stopped caring about my height. My buddies had another looks conversation yesterday and I just tuned them out and told Sushi about my plans to save the polar bears and train a troupe of tap-dancing unicorns. They were talking about tans for the second time this week, and Tiffany is so proud of her thin wrists and how she towers over the rest of us. I used to think they were so much more intelligent than the other people in the school, with more common sense.
Now I realize they’re just more selfish and cowardly. At least the popular people do things for their buddies without getting benefits for themself. They do things, go places. Out here in the periphery tee hee it’s no man’s land, every man for himself, and I’m not going to run in the middle and pick up all the pieces. Haha did you like my extended metaphor?
No Man’s Land is the best game ever. Heck, turning a game of bad-minton into a reenactment of World War One is always fun.
Today in the bathroom I gave myself the excuse that I’m just too busy to do anything besides homework. But then I realized that once I start working I’ll always say that I’m too busy, and this will go on forever until I find myself at 85, too old to do anything anymore.
People can’t fire off tasks one after another. I think it’s our nature to linger on things and waste time in between. Because if we did things in successive order even the fun things would feel like chores.
Back to my poopy friends. Haha I’m sure everyone is tired of hearing about this, but I have to get it off my chest.
I’m on all night on aim, because being on aim gives you that feeling of being with people, and it’s a nice feeling. But the people who count aren’t on, and when I ask them the next day, “Where were you last night?” they just shrug like, who cares? And go on their little trips together because, oops, I forgot that grapes had to go too.
I can’t get over how narrow-minded they are. I wear tights for the first time (okay, second. First was the library for a study group with Asmita, because it was Sunday and my church buddies are way more accepting of dressing up) since Preschool and they ask me what the occasion is? Sushi just points and laughs, and she can’t stop laughing for ten minutes. I just ignore her and ask her in an angry Asian voice, “What were you and Mr. G talking about?” because she had broken off midsentence to laugh at me. They ask me why I’m so dressed up? It’s just a jumper (haha now I know the word) and tights. I don’t have to look like you, oh rich Tiffany, with your requests for $96 jewelry for Christmas. (We are not as rich as you and no one likes your dog with the uniboob.) You who wears a sweatshirt and jeans. People can always change, and they always want to, but their friends are what keeps them from doing it. I avoided necklaces for years because I knew they would just point, laugh, and say I was girly. I would get some immature whine from Amanda like, “Ooohhh Grapes is wearing a necklace. She’s so girly.”
So I stayed frumpy and such for years, until one day they had raced ahead of me. Now I’ve learned to just ignore your friends and go for it.
Haha I’m just letting it all out now.
I’m slowly starting to realize that I will never be that perfect parent that I’ve always imagined I would be. Because I see everyone else ranting about their parents and I’ve realized it’s a global disease, unfair parents. You get caught up in the moment and you start screaming really really hateful things at your children, like my dad last night, who picked the worst time, right as I was about to fall asleep. I was literally on the edge of that cliff. Like, one more lull and I’d be asleep. But no, he had to begin ranting for ten minutes (with minute-long pauses in between, like breaks in between paragraphs) until I finally lost all sleepiness and almost cried because I was so tired.
Hormones, stop. Please? I hate PMSing. But that doesn’t automatically discredit all this deepness I’m coming up with. I think it’s funny that I every month, I try to negotiate with nature. Like, please don’t let it come on Tuesday, I have detention and a major meeting and I can’t afford to be in extreme pain.
I’m just going to accept detention, because there’s nothing I can do. And if this sounds defeatist, it’s not. I’ve got this memory of getting into extreme trouble because I backtalked to a teacher. The thing is, it never happened.
My dad always says things like, “I don’t see the drive, the desire for life, to do things. How do you expect to be anybody?” It hurts because he doesn’t know how badly I want to try everything.
Does anyone remember that creepy video from eighth grade about the man with the scary gray eyes? Also, I found two clowns in my closet. I’m putting them up. This weekend is room makeover time! Huzzah!
Third awkward post in a row much? Please don’t remember what I wrote here, it was probably just a PMS phase. Yet PMSing kind of brings out the real person.
