Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Alice in Wonderland, Comic-Con, Dark Shadows, Helena Bonham Carter, Johnny Depp, Mad Hatter, Patton Oswalt, pictures, trailer
Apparently Johnny Depp surprised everyone by appearing at Comic-Con. A much needed visit, because the trailer had been leaked yesterday and the panel’s awesomeness depended on how much you wanted to know about what Tim Burton was saying.
Really, people need to stop leaking things before the movie comes out. Think of the eventual effect on the moviegoing experience. It takes away so much, even if it is exciting when you watch illegal videos.
That came out much worse than I intended. Here’s the trailer anyway.
Apparently that’s not the trailer they showed at Comic-Con. Errrrr. I’m gonna go look for that one. …My quest for the Alice in Wonderland trailer has led me to various videos of skinny white guys talking about how excited they are for the movie. I always feel ridiculous for those people who talk about trailers. I’d rather get the actual trailer, thank you, without your interference. No…the video is frozen on his excited face. And his Aeropostale shirt. Deeeaaaath. GAHHHHH. “I posted it on my blog so why don’t you go check it out?” NO. No I will not check it out on your blog. I’m not giving you traffic, person who won’t just post it on youtube.
Ah whatever. Find the trailer yourself, like I did. Something is off because I can’t find it anywhere.
But. I love this article from Fused Film.
“However many fans and screaming girls had a simultaneous orgasm when Johnny Depp walked out on stage to greet everybody.”
Allow me a moment to laugh my head off.
I’m not going to post any pictures of Johnny Depp’s appearance, because I want to save my upload space and it’s more celebrity news than movie news. Although I am excited and looking at every picture of it I can get my hands on.
Apparently he whispered into the microphone, “Hey. Happy to be here.”
Here are some Tim Burton quotes for those who care about the thoughts that went into the film.
“All his material, the Jabberwocky poem, all the elements of Wonderland that had movement and emotion, weird dialogue and stuff, we tried to use the material so there would be a new and true look to the universe. This one felt good to me, a weird journey, thematic nature, Wonderland will be hard to top.”
“Actors always bring something to it. If an actor connects and feels passionate, you should get something meaningful that they grasp on to. I just felt that with the material and the medium, it was just a good mixture of elements.”
“It’s a mixture of things. One was the element where we didn’t really have 5 or 6 years to make it. Also, techniques that were usable gave me more freedom, depth and layering. For me, I couldn’t really see the difference. With what we were doing, this seemed the right approach.
It’s a much more pleasant experience. 3-D used to give you a head. Now you don’t walk out of the theater with a headache. It enhances and puts you in this world more. It just helps with the experience. I think the gimmick elements have fallen by the wayside. It’s more about an experience that puts you in it more. You feel things that you actually felt on the set which enhances the experience. You feel what you feel in real life.”
On Alice: “She’s just a young girl. We wanted to give her some gravity, someone who has an internal life and you can see the wheels turning. A simple life, not flamboyant. That’s why I picked Helena and she’s got a big head (laughs).”
On “Dark Shadows”: “Yes, if I ever finish this one. (laughs) That’s the plan.”
This is from thewrap.com:
“Next up was Burton, presenting the trailer from his “Alice,” which panel moderator Patton Oswalt prompted him to play twice.
“Looks like a freak show, doesn’t it?” Burton said, looking up at the images of the characters on screen.
“Johnny (Depp) and I had worked together many times, but he’d never done a character with orange hair, so we scalped Carrot Top and took his hair,” Burton joked — adding that Depp helped create his character’s wardrobe.
The director said he attempted to take the traditional fairytale and Jabberwocky poem and turn it into a moving story that was “not just a series of weird events.”
But with a green screen, Burton said “speed and energy” was important because the screen “can start to freak you out after a while, and you don’t know where you are or who you are.”
To the audience’s surprise, at the end of his Q&A segment, Burton brought out Depp, who plays the Mad Hatter. The crowd erupted as Depp flashed his winning grin and waved for a few moments before departing the stage.”
There are also pictures of props taken at Comic-Con, but apparently people aren’t supposed to post them up yet, so I’ll put them up Friday. Because if I did right now I’d be a hypocrite for what I just wrote about leaks. But I can still describe them to you, can’t I? Ooh, an exercise in descriptive writing. But I’m lazy so I won’t really try.
There are a lot of tarts in the tea party. Gah, reminds me of the French Club banquet. That tart was very sour. Anyway, the tea party is very mix-and-match of silverware and plates but it’s neater than I imagined. Neater than it looks in the trailer to be sure. Maybe I’ll keep the picture and model my birthday after it.
It’s two round tables and one long one connected, with white tablecloth and a huge green velvet wingback chair at the end. Lots of cake.
The hat. The hat looks beautiful, and of course you’ve all seen the hat from the pictures and trailers.
My descriptions couldn’t do these justice. The Mad Hatter’s suit is also on display. I hope they will be when it plays at the El Capitan theater like it was for PotC 3 because I want to see these for myself. I love the flower print of the bowtie. Again, same as posters.
The little door’s pretty nondescript. A wooden door kind of like the ones you’d see in missions. There’s this giant fake Alice head next to it to show the size difference, I guess. Also if the head wasn’t there it’d just be a door.
The eat me cake is yellow and squareish, in an old black box. Excuse me, glass with a brownish black frame. Again, these pictures are low quality. I’ll wait until Friday and see if there are better ones.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Alan Rickman, Arizona Dream, Bill Murray, bottle shock, Bruce Willis, character, City of Ember, French, Grandma Georgina, independent film, Jack Sparrow, jason bourne, Jim Carrey, Johnny Depp, movie marathon, Ragetti, reviews, sherlock holmes, Smee, Snoop Dogg, Star Trek, trailer, What Just Happened, Yes Man
I had been looking forward to the “Sherlock Holmes” movie coming out this summer, so I leapt at seeing the trailer. Not the whooping funny-sounds-are-coming-out-of-my-mouth leap but a decent-sized one. After watching the trailer, my enthusiasm had dwindled to even lower proportions. Remember when I said that Sherlock Holmes seemed to be riding off of Jack Sparrow’s formula for success? Heroic scoundrel, unconventional, all that jazz. I thought maybe it was just my tendency to be biased regarding Jack Sparrow, but apparently I’m not the only one.
New York Magazine’s Vulture says, “It was no small letdown to watch this brand-new trailer for the movie, in which we learn that it’s simply your basic Jason Bourne-style actioner in which the titular hero battles ghosts and is played as a near relative of Captain Jack Sparrow who borrows clothes from Watson. Yawn!”
Moving on, there was a massive movie marathon at my house these past two days. I didn’t end up seeing “Star Trek” for monetary reasons – although I expect it’s awesomeness will dwindle on the small screen – but I did see several decent movies. Like “Bottle Shock”. I may have a bias toward indie movies as well, but I loved it immediately. It didn’t wow me like “Arizona Dream”, however, only gave me that heartwarming something’s-been-added-to-my-life feeling. Alan Rickman, you are so weird and your French sounds just as stilted as mine. I still don’t know whether I like you because you are an excellent actor or because you are in more than one Johnny Depp movie.
Speaking of six degrees, “City of Ember” gets kudos for casting Grandma Georgina, Smee, and Ragetti/Shujoy/Snoop Dogg. Grandma Georgina, it’s as if they plopped the same character in different movies with varying degrees of hair messiness. Other than that, “City of Ember” had good points (mainly Bill Murray) but was unfulfilling. Made me not want to read the book anymore. “Yes Man” similarly had good points, more so than “City of Ember”, but sometimes Jim Carrey would get a little overenthusiastic with the comedy. And I’m a little embarassed to admit that I’d have been a fan of Munchausen by Proxy.
Late reviews, I know. Then there was “What Just Happened”, the artsiest movie out of the four I saw today. Believe it or not, it was somewhat inspiring. I would have appreciated it more watching by myself, thanks to the lack of captions and scandalous notions, but I did like it. It’s one of those movies where you don’t see how good it is until it’s ended and you see the whole picture. I also hate how we spent ten minutes arguing about whether it was the real Bruce Willis.
I guess this is just a movie update then. Huzzah?
Filed under: gift guides | Tags: arabesque, auction, birthday, blood, connecticut, crazy cat lady game, crocheted leaflet tights, dance class, Danny Boyle, Disney, Edward Scissorhands, fangirl, Gale, gift guide, gifts, gloves, grandpa hairtuft, hairy legs, interviews, Jerry Bruckheimer, Johnny Depp, Lone Ranger, lonely, michael jackson, Miya, mono, oprah, props, road trip, shang, STAR testing, stealthygrapes, sweat, Tonto, trailer, twitter, Youtube
I originally wanted to attack everyone with pictures of Danny Boyle, whom I have taken up drawing on every surface I see. I don’t think that was gramatically correct, nor ecumenically, nor spiritually, but I just woke up from a nap that went too long and began too late. I will, however, watch numerous interviews of Danny Boyle on Youtube, something I have never done before. Huzzah.
Miya. The Gale to my Oprah, the Tonto to my Lone Ranger. Scratch that, I’d rather be Tonto, as Johnny Depp is portraying him in a 2010/2011 movie headed by Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer. Now that I’ve told you, I expect you to not run up to your local Johnny Depp fangirl – who will have to do in place of me, I guess, although I am not a fangirl - one month before “The Lone Ranger” comes out, and tell them that you can’t wait for that new Johnny Depp movie. They will shun you for being an ignorant poop.
Back to the subject at hand. Miya’s birthday was two days ago, and I gave her the gift of joining twitter with her. Oh look! A perfect chance to self-promote! Mein twitter is @stealthygrapes. Huzzah.
But here are gifts that I would give her if I were rich and not lethargic.
1. Crazy Cat Lady Game; so that she can practice for the lonely thirty years spent waiting for me in the trailer.

fredflare, $22
2. Crocheted Leaflet Tights; so that her legs always look hairy.

fredflare, $12
3. Arabesque; so she can always be reminded of what we couldn’t achieve in dance class.

rock 'n rose jewellery, 10 pounds
4. Mono; for staring contests and incentive to buy the whole bio gang. Also, because Mono needs her Grandpa Hairtuft. And her uncle, Michael Jackson. And her other uncle, Shang. Do you remember our original road trip plans? To drive to Connecticut and steal the whole lot…

giant microbes, $7.95
5. Edward Scissorhand Gloves; so she can’t.

Michael Jackson auction, $4000-6000
Those are the real gloves from the movie that, by now, have been mentioned too many times. And there’s probably dried up Johnny Depp hand sweat on them…and blood, because he cut himself so many times. I’m only mentioning this because I know there are fangirls who like that stuff…
Happy belated birthday Ayim.
I’ll be back with another post perhapsedly tomorrow, because we have STAR testing and thus early dismissal. In the meantime, my fears have come true and I can’t stop twittering. Follow me if you’re already in the trap, but if you’re not – stay out and keep your life.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 21 Jump Street, 80's, acting, actor, Arizona Dream, brain, chocolate, Dustin Nguyen, facial hair, Holly Robinson Peet, homework, John Dillinger, Johnny Depp, Jonathan Glazer, karma, kung fu commercial, love, Marion Cotillard, movie, Numb3rs, Private Resort, Public Enemies, Puerto Rico, readers, Rob Morrow, shirtless, spring break, The Rum Diaries, tommy-gun, trailer, Tu Morrow
Lately the girl-who-always-has-the-latest-stuff-of-Johnny-Depp has been bombarding my youtube homepage with “Johnny on set of Rum Diaries!” and “Johnny shirtless in Puerto Rico!”. Just last summer, this would have been the happiest time of my life, but I’m a bit irritated.
Or I was, until I saw that the 2nd trailer for “Public Enemies” had just come out. And it is more soap opera-y than the first. The first trailer was all about the action. It yelled, “Oh my gosh! It’s Johnny Depp with a tommy gun! Look how awesome he is!”
And in the middle, he suddenly grew facial hair, and I knew what a good actor he was.
This new trailer makes it seem like everything John Dillinger did was for love. We’ll have to wait to see which perspective the movie will come from. Seriously, check it out. Beside the Johnny Depp thing, this movie seems like it’ll be really good. Okay…it is the Johnny Depp thing, but someone should come watch it with me. Any movie buddies?
I’d just like to point out how awesome it is that Johnny Depp doesn’t respond to his own name when he’s in character. This is probably something that’s simple for actors, but I would imagine that if I played a character called “Grapes” it would be disconcerting. In fact, when I hear the real-life counterpart to Grapes mentioned in school I already get a jolt. It’s unreal to me. Anyway, in “Arizona Dream” Axel’s buddy Paul is like, “You think anyone f*cking touches Johnny Depp’s face?” and Johnny is sitting two rows behind, not a twitch on his face. And in “Public Enemies”, Marion Cotillard is like, “Johnny!” and again, no twitch. If there is a twitch, it is well hidden by the shadowy shots.
I just found out that uglycooldude from Numb3rs, Don, was in “Private Resort” with Johnny Depp in the 80’s. One of the few Johnny Depp movies I had no interest in during my obsession, where they go to a hotel and try to scandalize women.
Sad how he ends up on “Numb3rs” and Johnny Depp ends up in PotC. Well, who’s the one that named their daughter Tu Morrow? Karma is a chienne.
Same with the guys from “21 Jump Street”. Occasionally I see Holly Robinson Peet in the Colgate commercial, and the other day -
Oh my. I forgot to tell you – at my last job shadow the guy showed me some commercials by his favorite director, and I swear the kungfu guy was Dustin Nguyen. I know I should have been paying attention to the shots and the art direction and whatnot, but I spent the time staring at the guy’s face trying to figure out if it was him or not.
Oh goodness. A quick google search reveals that yes, it is him. Huzzah.
Spring break is the last great vacation of the school year. At the end of this fleeting week, my brain’s going to have the mental capacity of my thigh – only enough to make music with my fat if commanded to do so.
I’m going to be spending it doing homework.
And will the readers of this blog please raise their hands? Or, just comment. My stats are going through the roof (I exaggerate and flatter myself) and I wonder if it’s just hit-and-misses. Does anyone besides Miya read this somewhat regularly…
Wow if no one comments it will be sad. I may be forced to comment anonymously so this doesn’t become a tragedy.
PS. Unwrapping chocolate eggs without tearing the wrapper makes me happy. And chocolate looks sweaty.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: clark gable, coffee, court, da vinci code, dentist, film, free, interview, LA, lawyers, lunch, lunch box, Public Enemies, Starbucks, Sushi, Taiwan, trailer
My dentist has invaded even my future, and he did this years before I was born. How stealthy is Dr. Frank.
I went on a interview today and on the drive home my dad asked me how I had found this opportunity. I don’t think we have weird conversations, it just comes out wrong when it’s typed. Then again, this is mild compared to “does it hurt above or below your belly button?” I said, through (insert organization name here of Taiwanese people who like Taiwanese independence) He thought for a moment, then said, “I know. It’s the dentist.”
Time froze. I’m not exaggerating, the cars on the highway began to blur, and it wasn’t because I wasn’t wearing my glasses.
Then he began to explain how in the dentist’s college’s alumni network (why does my dad know this) a bunch of them moved to (insert state where interview lady came from) who were also pro-Taiwan independence.
It was reasonable.
FJP strikes again?!!?!? After invading every other aspect of my life, he had only this to conquer. So that the day I win an Oscar I can say, “Dr. Frank, this is because of you.” And denture sales will rise like never before.
He’s even invaded my most anticipated movie of 2009. In the background of a “Public Enemies” still, there is a movie poster with Clark Gable on it. For those late in the six degrees of grapes game, Clark Gable is one of many who equal Dr. Frank.
I found this picture online and laughed at the fact that something random Chinese people carried their lunches in is now being sold as a marvel (ish).

That’s what my parents delivered to me the one time they brought my lunch to school this year.
My friends and I stared at it and proceded to try to open the darn thing.
It wouldn’t open.
It was like the Da Vinci Code. After many ornate twists and turns we opened the first compartment to find: an egg. Disappointed, because the container was huge, we tried more ways until finally the entire lunch was unboxed and eaten. Huzzah.
Today was pretty exciting. Free lunch and skipping a few periods of school, and then a trip to LA where it seems infinitely more fun but much unhappier. And my dad taught me how to order at Starbucks while forbidding me to drink coffee. Luckily we did not get coffee at all for our interview.
Now it’s late and I’m staying up for the “Public Enemies” trailer.
Also, I loved slapping Sushi with my “18 year old survival guide” they gave out today at the courthouse.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Pirates of the Caribbean, angst, Johnny Depp, Six Degrees, Youtube, fanfiction, Public Enemies, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Mika, stealthy, Simple Plan, shopping, winter, Twilight, imposter, Hollywood, trailer, angry asian face, Erase, Love Today, lies, Donnie Brasco, gimmick, Stephanie Meyers, Cloverfield, Nick of Time, 24, phone, colorful, teenage, passive agression, speech class, Nordstroms, Wonder Pets, Mr. Tambourine Man, Family Feud, celebrity lookalike, 20 questions
No sign of the “Public Enemies” trailer.
This can only mean one thing: lies.
Yeah, I don’t really know where I’m going with this.
Anyway, I decorated my planner for nothing. I should have put a crapload of Mika stuff in this week instead. It would have personified this particular winter break much more better than Johnny Depp in a Santa hat in “Donnie Brasco”.
poignant pause in which an epiphany occurs.
It’s working. I’m drifting away from PotC…yet still stuck with it because of my fanfiction. I’m determined not to be one of those authors who leave their readers hanging. I’m looking at you Stephanie Meyers (actually, I wasn’t. But I just wanted to make a jab at Twilight. Because I scoured bookstores for Angela’s birthday present and had to wash my eyes out afterwards). What a clever gimmick that was at the end…but I resisted. It’s okay…”Cloverfield” was a gimmick. “Nick of Time” was a gimmick. Yeah okay, obviously it didn’t work for “Nick of Time” because unless you are a Johnny Depp fan or know me very well you have a very confused expression on your face. Or a stone face. I never laugh at things on the computer. I just sit with my angry Asian face. Like right now because it’s cold.
Several bazillion years later, “24″ took the “Nick of Time” gimmick and turned it into a successful TV show. Ah, Hollywood.
I said all this to tell you that I’ve just finished Mikafying my phone and now I feel much more colorful and am very happy. All that’s missing is the laugh ringtone. I can’t wait to show Miya. That’s Miya, not Mika. I did a double take when I went through my post to add tags.
Today I went shopping with my family, mostly my mom. ‘Twas a fiasco. But of course I just made many angry noises and exaggerated my angry Asian face instead of lashing out in typical teenage fashion. I remember that guy who came to talk to us in 7th grade Speech class. Excuse me, old guy. Description is good. He said “You think that passive agression is the right way? WRONG.” Or something like that. I don’t really remember because he kind of annoyed me. He was supposed to be really important but of course no one had ever heard of him except Mr. Raabe.
Whatever. Passive agression is very stealthy. And stealthiness is key. Cue Mrs. Beauregard’s affirmative nod to Violet.
Basically, I think my mom’s subconscious was stealthily preventing me from buying anything. Oh well. My subconscious is getting revenge because we’re going shopping again tomorrow – just for me. As my dad put it, “I guess we’ll have to accompany you tomorrow.” Accompany. Huzzah.
I realized beside the necklaces at Nordstroms that I’m a pretty calm teenager. I don’t mean comatose. I had my teenage angst (“Eraaaaaaaaase”)phase in 5th grade. Which would make it preteen angst…how I wish the Simple Plan days had never happened. So I’m pretty calm except when I yell at my dad. Hah. What a fail thing to say. Hypocrite much.
I watched some “Wonder Pets” today on Youtube. Youtube is not kind to “Wonder Pets”. Yes…I watched it because of Mika. It’s kind of sad that most of my discoveries and likes come from random obsessions. It’s the only way to explain my tolerance of “Mr. Tambourine Man”. It’s not a bad song, but I’m biased.
I feel like an imposter.
Okay, I am. But not like those people who went on Family Feud dressed as celebrities. Here’s looking at you, short balding hunchbacked man who only DRESSED exactly like Johnny Depp but did not sound like him. Shun. Shuuuuuuun. Shuuuuun.
Ooh. Another fail. I just glanced at the title and remembered my sisters’ current obsession with 20 questions. Today Jocelyn discovered the wonder that is the 20 questions machine. You know, the little portable purple (huzzah!) game.
This morning my thing was “love” and the clue was “Everybody’s going to do this today”. No, it wasn’t too hard. My sisters live with me, they know references. But they failed me and answered things like, “wake up”, ”go shopping”, “sleep”, etc. I sighed and hummed it stealthily, and after a bit longer Shannon guessed it. Huzzah.
Oh yesh. Another six degrees I encountered today. I was eating at the Target food court thingy, and as I stood up to leave the lady sitting at the table behind us was staring up at me. And she looked like the lady in CatCF who offers Charlie $500 for his golden ticket.
My sister agreed. Huzzah.
Filed under: sweet dreams are made of this | Tags: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, dream, Emir Kusturica, Erase, ice skating, India, James bond, Kung Fu Panda, La Poo Poo, Mika, Miya, Pirates of the Caribbean, Public Enemies, Santa Baby, scandalous, sunglasses, Sushi, The Dark Knight, Tim Burton, trailer
Even Mika has them.

And yet I still don’t have them. Angela came by and delivered my present. She was my last hope because no one else had gotten them for me…but the ones she got me were like ski goggles/sleeping masks. At least now I can match La Poo Poo in stealthiness. I went to Claire’s and they didn’t sell them anymore anyways.
I had a dream about Mika last night. It was really odd, but when have my dreams not been odd? Mika came to our school and randomly performed onthe blacktop. And Miya and I were freaking out because DUH. (And we wanted to wail “Erase” – the ultimate angst song) Miya was like, “I’m going to request a song!” People don’t request songs at performances, but I was debating, “Big Girl” vs. “Erase”. So she went and asked him and he was like (internally – but I can read thoughts in dreams apparently, and when I’m Edward), ew your friend is ugly. Anyways, he sang “Erase” but it sucked because he didn’t wail the “erase” parts. And it was really fail, so our fan-ness just died. And then everyone went home because it was cold, except for me, because I didn’t have a car. So Mika was like…”I’ll give you a ride so you don’t die” and we drove in the tour bus through ice. And not so frozen ice - sludge – and we almost died. That was fun. What was weird was that later, people from my internship took over the ASB room and started making noodles and forcing me to eat it. And I had an iphone but I couldn’t text, but I know where that subconscious stuff came from.
Today we rented “The Dark Knight” and “Kung Fu Panda”. “Kung Fu Panda” was hilarious the first time around, but then Shannon came home and we had to watch it again. Unfortunately, like most animated movies, it was not so awesome the second time. Although I laugh every time at the awesome deflecting part. I stick up my feet. My sister says touching them is like holding ice in one’s hand. “The Dark Knight”…eh…it feels kind of hyped now. The kind of stuff Sushi loves because everyone has agreed to love it and because it is environmentally friendly/saves orphans. By the way, my dad didn’t know it was about Batman.
Sushi’s in her element right now, I think. India, saving people, medicine. Huzzah. And her love, James Bond. …Santa Baby…
Moving on. I’m going ice skating with my church tomorrow, so huzzah!
I finally cleaned my room. The plastic “treasure chest” is now in my closet. Which my sister won’t let me open because she’s scared of the Chinese opera mask inside.
I’m on the lookout for a new calendar. It’s really sad that I have to throw away the PotC one. It’s the last PotC wall decoration I have…which reminds me that I was once obsessed enough to buy a teen celebrity magazine (Tiger Beat or something like that) because of the PotC poster in the back. Gah. Today at Costco I saw one with vintage posters on it that was pretty cool but then I realized all of the posters were wine ads and there wasn’t much variety.
I watched CatCF (it was on TV) and realized how genius Tim Burton is. Before, shamefully I shall admit, I just liked his stuff because it was six degreed to Johnny Depp. No other director, I think, that I’ve seen besides Emir Kusturica, puts humor in so subtlely.
This post is so materialistic. Die. Oh yes, I’ve worn jewelry three times now. Scandalous.
Deeper things…um…”Public Enemies” trailer comes out the day after tomorroow!!!! And not even a website up yet…shun.
Yes, that attempt at deepness clearly failed.
PS. Miya, you drew me out of hibernation with your hilarious comment. I started grinning insanely.