Filed under: Happiness is a Warm Gun | Tags: 500 Days of Summer, books, chick flicks, dad, fanfiction, feeding ducks, high-speed Internet, Jack Sparrow, Julie and Julia, little boys, men, Mr. Darcy, park, parties, Pirate English facebook, Pirates of the Caribbean, Pride and Prejudice, Rob Kidd, The Motorcycle Diaries, toilets
Happy happy birthday, la la la la laaaaaa. How exciting. The next party is someone’s wedding, and I can’t wait for that, as long as I can avoid the dance floor and I get a new dress. 🙂
I know, it’s Monday and happiness is supposed to come to you on Sundays. I won’t tell if you don’t.
1. Parties. Now that I’ve tasted heaven I’m never going back. It wasn’t the food or the games or the decorations, although those helped. As cheesy as it sounds, my buddies made it the best birthday ever. The fact that they actually participated in my silly activities was enough to put a grin on my face. I was so worried we’d act like teenagers but we were children for one afternoon. 🙂
2. High-speed Internet. How I’ve missed you.
3. Pirate English facebook. Every time I sign in I’m greeted with the worst, cheesiest pirate slang ever. And I smile every time. Ye Olde Facebook brings a smile to my face. The best is when I forget about it and am completely surprised.
4. The Motorcycle Diaries. What a pleasant surprise. I remember when they won an Oscar for Best Original Song, and I was like…when is this performance over. Movie’s great though.
5. Toilets. I just had a moment of appreciation this week when I realized what life would be like if we had to scoop our own poop. Blarrrggghhh.
6. This morning as my mom and I were driving to check out some apartments we saw a dad and his two sons crossing the street to Regional Park. It was so cute because the older son who was like six or younger was holding a bag of bread to feed the ducks. Because Regional Park is a duck harem, we all know that. Old people like to go there to feed them, and Mexican families. Asian families are not fond of feeding ducks. I wish we were. Whell the father and sons were white, but the dad was carrying his little son, like where the kid sits on your arm…? And the little boy had blonde hair and his older brother had auburnish so my mom was like, talking about genetics…and I was just going, “awwwwwwwwwwwwww.” Okay I’ll admit to talking about genetics too. I said, “He must have a recessive gene.”
7. Talks with my mom where we complain about men. I never thought this day would come. We also watch chick flicks now. I keep suppressing the urge to ask her if she wants to see “Julie and Julia” or “500 Days of Summer” with the two tickets I got for my birthday. But I must save them. And I actually don’t really want to see “Julie and Julia”. Last night we watched “Pride and Prejudice”. And I finally understood the symbolism behind Mr. Darcy walking to Elizabeth’s house at the end. I’m too slow.
This was one happy week, but the explosion of the party made all the other little things fly out of my mind. I’m struggling to gather them back, so there’s only seven this week.
On a horrifying note, there is fanfiction for the Jack Sparrow book series by Rob Kidd. Blarklrewkrjwe. At least its not polluting the movie fanfiction section. Although sometimes it seeps in and I shun. No one needs to know Jack Sparrow’s past, and I don’t consider the series canon.
Filed under: Dr. Frank, Uncategorized | Tags: bank robber, dentist, Dr. Frank, fanfiction, Ghost Town, Norther Winslow, treasure
The sky had completely darkened when they reached the town Norther had set his sights on. Dimly flickering neon lights were all that kept them from swerving into one of the flimsy wooden buildings. “This is a ghost town,” Dr. Frank murmured, hugging himself tighter.
“Right. And we’re going to rob that bank there,” Norther slowed down as he drove by the bank, the tallest building in the small settlement. The town itself was only one street, just in a Spaghetti Western.
“Can I be frank with you, Mr. Winslow?”
“You are,” Norther grinned at the wordplay.
“That bank looks like nothing.”
“You underestimate, Frank. In that bank – ” Norther looked around suspiciously, ” – I’ll tell you once we get in a secured area.” He continued driving to the end of the street. Beyond that there was only the sparse camel-colored sand for miles, dotted with the occasional tumbleweed.
The very last building on the right looked like it was about to collapse on its side and die. To Dr. Frank’s horror, this was the one Norther pulled up to. He parked the car behind the building and they walked to the front, where a faded sign hung above their heads. Hotel, it read, and nothing more.
“Wha-how’d you find this place?” Dr. Frank asked incredulously, staring.
“Google,” Norther replied casually and continued up the steps. Dr. Frank looked back down the street. This seemed to be the only open establishment, and it didn’t look sanitary. In the end he had no choice but to follow Norther into the hotel.
“Hi, yes. I’d like a room please.” Norther leaned over the counter.
“Two rooms,” Dr. Frank hissed. Norther ignored him.
“Name?”
“Mr. uh, John Smith.” Norther turned and winked conspiratorially at Dr. Frank. His pseudonym was fool-proof. They would never be able to sort through the millions of John Smith’s in the United States.
Moments later they were opening the door to their room, Dr. Frank berating Norther for requesting a single room.
“It’s cheaper to share,” Norther said as he laid down his belongings on the bed. He sat down and patted the area beside him. “Sit down.”
“I’d rather stand, thank you,” Dr. Frank retorted, folding his arms.
“Suit yourself,” and Norther lay back on the bed, relaxed. “That bank is no ordinary bank. Its vaults hold one of the greatest lost treasures of the world.”
Dr. Frank couldn’t take it anymore. Here he was miles from home in a seedy hotel with a crazy treasure-hunting bank robber. He turned and left the room.
“Your funeral,” Norther muttered, picking up the television remote.
Filed under: Dr. Frank, Uncategorized | Tags: Alice in Wonderland, bank robbery, Big Fish, dentist, Dr. Frank, fanfiction, Johnny Depp, Mad Hatter, Norther Winslow
Norther lay his head back as he drove, laughing maniacally. Dr. Frank anxiously reached for the wheel, but his hand was slapped away. “I drive,” Norther warned possessively. The wind whipped their hair back, exposing their almost identical wrinkled foreheads as the red sports car raced East toward Texas. “We need to find us a place to sleep,” Norther said, looking around them for a rest stop. But the flatness of the desert stretched out uninterrupted for miles.
The sky slowly darkened above them until it was a deep champagne red. Accepting his fate, Dr. Frank let his guard down and rested his head back. The car swerved dangerously and he sat up, alarmed. Norther’s chin rested on his chest, and a loud snore erupted into the air. Dr. Frank slammed his hand down onto the steering wheel and maneuvred the car to the side of the road.
He was afraid to sleep, but could not resist the downward pull on his eyelids. Soon the two men were sleeping like babes, their snores scaring away the wildlife. It was enough to protect them through the night. Their jackets, however, were not enough to protect them from the desert’s harsh nights, and they eventually slept closer and closer until they were holding each other to keep warm.
The next morning, Norther awoke screaming. “What is this?”
Dr. Frank snorted awake, “What?”
“We’re in a ditch! More than that, what the hell were you doing hugging me in your sleep?”
Dr. Frank chose not to answer that, because he didn’t know. “We should probably push the car back onto the highway.”
“Damn right we should.” Norther scrambled out of the car and leaned on the back-end of it. Dr. Frank followed, albeit at his own much slower pace. “Hurry up! Is this how you’re going to be at the robbery, because if yes you’re gonna get us killed.”
Dr. Frank didn’t know what had gotten into Mr. Winslow making him so snappy, but he hurried nonetheless. The two men pushed against the car with all their might until it moved slowly upwards and onto the main road. Sweating, they rushed back into their seats and drove off.
“That was a good workout,” Norther said.
“Keep your eye on the road please,” Dr. Frank reminded him nervously.
“Don’t worry about it, Doc. I’m a bank robber. I can take anything.” Dr. Frank stayed quiet, although his mind was still racing with worries.
“How many times have you robbed a bank?”
“Once, last year. I told you, it’s how I got this shiny car.”
They drove on for several days, with nothing uneventful happening because Norther miraculously managed to find a rest stop each night, successfully eliminating awkward nights spent huddling in the sports car. It was as if that traumatic experience had made him determined never to spend the night in his car with Dr. Frank again.
At the end of three day’s drive, they reached Texas. Norther’s land of opportunity. It would be another three days until they reached their target.
Side note: I can’t think of the Mad Hatter as Johnny Depp. Is this the second Jack Sparrow?
Filed under: Dr. Frank, Uncategorized | Tags: bank robbery, Big Fish, dentist, Dr. Frank, fanfiction, Norther Winslow
“Is something wrong?” Dr. Frank’s wife asked him when he exited the bathroom. Caught defenseless, Dr. Frank hastily zipped up his fly and widened his eyes.
“What? Well that came out of nowhere. No. There’s nothing wrong. Why, is there something I don’t know about? He looked everywhere but at her. Dr. Frank’s wife folded her arms, then unfolded them again to take off her reading glasses. Her book started to close, and she rushed to save her page. It ruined the effect she was going for, to say the least.
“What did the white man have to say to you today?” she asked him, getting to the root of the problem. Ever since Mr. Winslow had visited their office earlier that day, Dr. Frank had been alternating between brooding and jumpy.
“He said that he needed a root canal done.”
“Well why did he go into your office, Dr. Frank?”
“He was ashamed that he needed the root canal. It is a shameful thing in white people’s culture.”
His wife looked at him. “Dr. Frank, we’ve both been living in the United States for over fifteen years. You and I both know that white people are not ashamed of root canals.” They both paused to remember Mr. Henderson, who had come in yelling that he had a root canal. He had enjoyed the consequent spectacle.
“It varies with each white person. Come on, Wife. You can’t generalize like that. Let’s go to sleep, hmm?” And with that Dr. Frank turned off the lights and slid into bed next to her. Dr. Frank’s wife sighed, then closed her book and placed it on the nightstand.
The next morning Dr. Frank awoke and found his wife to have left for the office earlier than usual. Sighing, he finished his morning routine and began the walk to the office.
He was just passing the hip new Asian restaurant next to the firehouse when he was tackled to the ground by a big blur. In the bushes, they wrestled. Finally the blur tired and gave up. Dr. Frank sat up. “Mr. Winslow?”
“Call me Norther. Are you ready to go?”
Dr. Frank, bewildered, shook his head. “No, of course not. You told me yesterday.”
“That’s plenty of time.” He looked down at Dr. Frank’s shiny black bag. “Ah, you’ve packed.”
“No, these are some dental -” but again he was yanked to Norther Winslow’s shiny red sports car. A sign of his mid-life crisis, to be sure, but also of his newfound wealth after robbing his first bank nearly a year before. The wealth was surely deteriorating as well, for the car had a few unrepaired scratches, and when Norther tried to start it, it rumbled furiously in response.
“Let’s go.” He smiled creepily at Dr. Frank, and the car raced off in a whirlwind of dust. Coughing and choking, Dr. Frank had no choice but to comply. Thus Dr. Frank, dressed in a forest green polo shirt, brown belt, and khakis, drove off with Norther Winslow into the sunset. His wife could only make the conclusion that he had turned gay and run off with his Caucasian lover. She cried for five minutes, and moved on. What strength and resilience did this woman portray.
Filed under: Dr. Frank, Uncategorized | Tags: bank robbery, Big Fish, crossover, dentist, Dr. Frank, fanfiction, Johnny Depp, Steve Buscemi
Umm, okay. After weeks of neglect, I decided to check my stats, because that’s always fun. And what did I see in the search terms but “dentist fanfiction”? Since I have nothing better to do than walking around in a Hugh Hefner-ish bathrobe that belonged to my mother, I’ll indulge this strange fantasy.
I know I’m crazy for wearing a bathrobe in this heat. But, how do I say this delicately? My uterus is expelling blood.
Wow I’ve never been so outright about it before. Must be a hormonal thing, and I’ll come to regret it in six days.
Okay, the dentist fanfiction. Naturally I must make the protagonist my beloved dentist, whose belly grumbles as he rewires my braces. It is important to note that Dr. Frank looks like everyone, most notably Steve Buscemi and that one picture of Johnny Depp in Rolling Stone magazine. I know, how does he do it?
Onward.
Dr. Frank picked up his sleek dental bag. It was shiny and black, and only added to his hipness that summer morning as he walked to his office. He wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, beads of water falling to the cement in a graceful formation. How Dr. Frank was able to be this cool, no one knew. And he’d be damned before he shared his secrets. Dr. Frank stopped himself mentally. He never used those sort of words; Dr. Frank was a mild man. He lived in a a beige suburban house with his wife, who helped out at the dental office as his receptionist.
After stopping to admire the new red paint on the neighboring dairy store, Dr. Frank continued until he reached his office. The bell jingled as he pushed the door open, and his wife looked up from the counter. “Dr. Frank,” she greeted him. “Mr. Tse’s your first appointment. He’ll be coming in in a few minutes.”
Not even a good morning, Dr. Frank thought sadly. He nodded and walked deeper into the office. His assistant, Clara, stood at the counter, labeling plaster models of teeth. Hearing his footsteps, she glanced up. “Good morning Dr. Frank,” she smiled. Even if she was just getting on his good side for that recommendation letter she needed, Dr. Frank appreciated the gesture.
“Good morning Clara,” he returned. “How are the models coming along?”
“They’re great,” she said, turning one around in her hand. “This one’s got a bit of crookedness with the wisdom teeth, but there’s nothing we can’t pull out.”
Dr. Frank opened his mouth to reply when he heard the bell jingle in the lobby. “Excuse me Clara,” he said, rushing over to the doorway. “Mr. Tse?” he said, but it was not Mr. Tse.
“Uh no, I’m Norther Winslow,” the man smiled, his teeth making Dr. Frank’s fingers itch. How he wanted to straighten them all right now. And to scrape the evident plaque off of them.
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Winslow. I’m Dr. Frank.” He stuck out his hand, and they shook.
“I’m Norther Winslow,” the man repeated.
“Yes.”
“Uh, may we speak in your office? Privately?”
Dr. Frank stared, taken aback. No one ever entered his office, except his wife to drop off files and dust the bookshelves. “Uh, sure. Yes, right this way.” Norther trailed behind him as they entered his office. Dr. Frank quickly flipped on the light switch and welcomed Mr. Winslow to sit in one of the plush chairs facing his desk.
He himself sat down in his own swiveling desk chair. Norther leaned in conspiratorially. “Dr. Frank, I am a wanted man.”
“What?” Dr. Frank, once again was taken aback. Here was a man who had managed to shock him twice within five minutes of acquaintance, a challenging feat in itself.
“I robbed a bank in Texas,” Norther continued to whisper, glancing occasionally at Dr. Frank’s wife, whose eyes darted toward the office every three seconds. She had no idea what business her mild-mannered, if not cool husband had with such a wild-eyed white man, but it didn’t look legal.
“Why are you coming to me? I’ve never seen you in my life!” Dr. Frank whispered furiously back at Norther. He didn’t want any trouble, he just wanted to run his dental clinic and live his quiet life. He had won awards, and deservedly so. Neighborhood housewives regularly invited him and his wife over all the time. In fact, they got by without cooking for themselves, so beloved were his services to the community in filling cavities and curing root canals.
“I need a decoy, Dr. Frank. I need a distraction.”
“You’re going to pull another one?”
“Very smart Dr. Frank. I heard you were a quick one. So,” Norther looked deep into his eyes. “Are you in or are you out?”
Dr. Frank’s moral compass spun around wildly. It was obvious the answer was no, so what was he hesitating for? He weighted the options. Dr. Frank the bank robber or Dr. Frank the dentist? It was obvious which he belonged to.
It was a great surprise to him then, when the word that slipped out of his mouth began with a Y and not a N.
Looks like this one’s going to be a serial. Unless I lose motivation, or am booed off the stage.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 80's, acting, Arizona Dream, army, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Corpse Bride, costars, cougar, directing, dress, Ed Wood, fanfiction, fangirl, Francis Ford Coppola, Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Lori-Anne Allison, Numb3rs, Pirates of the Caribbean, Private Resort, Rob Morrow, scandalous, shopping, shun, sushmita, Tetro, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, The Jolly Roger, ticket sales, Tu, Vajoliroja, Vincent Gallo, weight, yacht
I went shopping with my mom today and bought a dress. Ah, mundane details. Although, this is the second dress I’ve bought since I was six that was not for a violin recital.
Dresses are so freeing, and there is so much irony in that statement.
I’m working on Sushmita chapter nine. There’s a sentence that hasn’t been heard in a while. Is it sad that I actually have to consult the PotC 1 script to write this thing now, whereas only five months ago I could have written the script off the top of my head? Yes, but I have to get past PotC!!!
It doesn’t look good, for one thing, when you tell someone you want to be director, and you say, “Yes, my favorite movie is Pirates of the Caribbean,” because they immediately take you for a fangirl.
For one, I am not a fangirl…I just happen to know that Johnny Depp weighs 150 lbs and currently lives aboard his yacht, the Vajoliroja, which is a play off of “The Jolly Roger” and is composed of the first two letters of his family member’s names. Not impressed? He was also married to Lori-Anne Allison in the 80’s for three years, and she was older than him. I smell a cougar. Hopefully she was nothing like Joyce.
“…Hiiii Miiiiyaaaaa….”
I’ll stop now because I feel like I’m exploiting him, and if he ever read this he’d bite my nose off. Or ignore me for the rest of my life, something that, while it will probably happen, I hope it will never occur. I apologize, Johnny Depp; you were wonderful in “Ed Wood”. That’s one of the few movies where I’ve had to remind myself that I was watching Johnny Depp.
What now, what now. “Numb3rs” was on last night 🙂 but every time I see uglycooldude I remember the beach montage from “Private Resort”. Oh, Rob Morrow. You will never live down the one movie you did with Johnny Depp when you were both unknown, and also the fact that you named your daughter Tu. Say it. Out loud. “You’re impossibly fast.” No, it’s more like “If you seek Amy.”
Speaking of old Johnny Depp costars who somewhat disappeared, “Tetro” is Francis Ford Coppola’s newest film, and his most personal. And guess who it stars? “Breast, Axel. Big beautiful breasts”. Yes, Vincent Gallo, how did you guess? “Arizona Dream”, why dost thou inspire me so? Johnny Depp himself wasn’t that great in it. Scandalous statement, I know, but there were a lot of Johnny Depp habits in it. Like how when his character gets angry he does a lot of swooping hand gestures and head tilting.
Sorry if I ruined every film he’s ever done for you except “Ed Wood”, CatCF, and PotC. And “Corpse Bride”, but that wasn’t physically him.
Although, he once said that if there isn’t a part of you in a role then you’re lying, not acting. So maybe I’ll forgive him, because it’s not like many people are better.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to “Tetro”, because oh goodness it’s Vincent Gallo, and it’s also the first Francis Ford Coppola movie I will see. Scandalous, coming from a wannabe director. Please don’t shun me.
Also, when they analyze the bound-to-be hugemongous ticket sales for TIoDP, they’d better not think that we’re all there to see Heath Ledger, and forget Johnny Depp’s loyal slightly massive army of fangirls.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 13 Going on 30, AMC, brickbreaker, civilization, eharmony, fanfiction, guilty pleasure, home video, Love Today, Mad Men, Mr. Bean, Numb3rs, Pirates of the Caribbean, scandalous, Sean Connery, Sequoia National Park, soundtrack, stealthy, The Pink Panther, The Untouchables, viagra
After posting my last post, I waited for some caring person to reach out and pull me away from the toxic bubbling goo of obsession. Then my internet died, because I had entered into Sequoia National Park. And I was in the middle of a particularly well-written fanfiction too. I know, well-written and fanfiction in the same sentence? Please excuse me, I was stuck in a car in the middle of orange-growing land. I was, and am, also sad because the space key on my Blackberry no longer makes that cool clicky noise anymore. My city-dweller instincts kicked in and I clung to the last source of civilization I had. Until it too died on me. So I proceeded to play brickbreaker.
But no, I took a few good photos that did not include my family standing dorkily against the backdrop of a “Welcome to Sequoia National Park” sign, and I did a good Mr. Bean impression that unfortunately will forever be captured on tape.
Now we’re on our way to Yosemite, so I apogize for this half-assed post. I’m just trying to get you guys something to read before I’m once again thrown into the wilderness. Soon I will have only my ipod and brickbreaker to keep me company.
Sayonara, Japanese goodbye…
Which reminds me: I spent last night watching old movies on amc (Mad Men!) like “The Untouchables” (sadly, I missed Sean Connery but I saw a photo of him), and “In the Line of Fire”. Also, the end of “13 Going On 30”, which if I keep randomly running into, could become a guilty pleasure of mine. Next to “The Pink Panther”. I also spent the night hastily changing channels when eharmony and Viagra-type commercials came up. Viagra commercials are stealthy. They start out all happy and normal, and then BAM. But I also had to make sure I saw a few ads for “Mad Men”. Speaking of, I’ll be missing “Numb3rs” tonight and cramming on homework tomorrow. Dangnabbit.
One last thing: if you ever get a hold of these home videos, the wailing of the PotC soundtrack and “Love Today” in the background is me and my little sister.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 2010, Anne Hathaway, beaver, Danny Boyle, fanfiction, fanvideo, Freddie Highmore, Geoffrey Rush, happy-go-lucky, Johnny Depp, Leave it to Beaver, les miserables, Mika, Orlando Bloom, Oscars, Panic At the Disco, pepto bismo, Pirates of the Caribbean, Princess Victoria, puke, Sean Connery, Slumdog Millionaire, Sweden
When I see 2010, I think, “Oh, five years from now.”
No Grapes, Princess Victoria of Sweden is marrying next year, not in five. So it’s not so strange – because originally I thought they probably had a bajillion regulations to go through before she could get married. Five years though, that’s a long time.
The guy who plays Jean Valjean in the musical version of Les Miserables has a Sean Connery thing going on. Huzzah! But I can’t stand it when he sings, strangely.
Danny Boyle has been added to my awesome people list. I realize this is an inconvenient time to declare this, what with the possibility of a mob of Indian people screaming, “Indian pride!” at me, but he is so cool.
Imdbing…I know it’s not the best, but it’s good for quick research. Huzzah! I knew he had directed Millions. Gah that’s one of my favorite movies. He should keep the glasses on though, it makes him look less “tired guy” and more “awesome dork.” I would invite him to my barbecue.
Reasons Danny Boyle is awesome, but not AWE-some. Reference!
1. His weird head.
2. His awesome accent, especially when he says “much”.
3. The fact that he made Millions, one of the few non-Johnny Depp movies I love. Widely dismissed because it is a “kid movie”. Right, with a smoking nun.
4. His Oscars acceptance speech. It was a once-in-a-lifetime event and he did an imposteration of Tigger – and for his kids, too. GAHHH.
I’ve never been swayed so much by acceptance speeches as I was this year. I really wanted to see Happy-Go-Lucky last year, but when I saw the actress’s drunken speech at the Golden Globes, most desire to see it went out the window.
At the Oscars, Anne Hathaway redeemed herself in my book by cheering sincerely for other nominees in her category and having the best reactions when the camera was on her. Also for being in Alice in Wonderland, but that’s different.
Question: why was Miley Cyrus there? My only answer is that she was conveniently in the area.
My sister was playing with those pens that you blow into and ink comes out, but my permission slip was beneath the paper she was drawing on. It looked like a kid had puked while drinking pepto bismol. Exciting.
Updated list of People I Would Invite to My Barbecue:
1. Mika
2. Johnny Depp
3. Geoffrey Rush
4. Danny Boyle
5. Orlando Bloom – to shun.
6. Freddie Highmore – for reasons stated in original list
7. the cast of the Beaver Movie
8. Beaver from “Leave it to Beaver” even though he’s probably old and uncute now.
Panic at the Disco makes me nostalgic for PotC fanvideos and fanfiction.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 20 questions, 24, angry asian face, angst, celebrity lookalike, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Cloverfield, colorful, Donnie Brasco, Erase, Family Feud, fanfiction, gimmick, Hollywood, imposter, Johnny Depp, lies, Love Today, Mika, Mr. Tambourine Man, Nick of Time, Nordstroms, passive agression, phone, Pirates of the Caribbean, Public Enemies, shopping, Simple Plan, Six Degrees, speech class, stealthy, Stephanie Meyers, teenage, trailer, Twilight, winter, Wonder Pets, Youtube
No sign of the “Public Enemies” trailer.
This can only mean one thing: lies.
Yeah, I don’t really know where I’m going with this.
Anyway, I decorated my planner for nothing. I should have put a crapload of Mika stuff in this week instead. It would have personified this particular winter break much more better than Johnny Depp in a Santa hat in “Donnie Brasco”.
poignant pause in which an epiphany occurs.
It’s working. I’m drifting away from PotC…yet still stuck with it because of my fanfiction. I’m determined not to be one of those authors who leave their readers hanging. I’m looking at you Stephanie Meyers (actually, I wasn’t. But I just wanted to make a jab at Twilight. Because I scoured bookstores for Angela’s birthday present and had to wash my eyes out afterwards). What a clever gimmick that was at the end…but I resisted. It’s okay…”Cloverfield” was a gimmick. “Nick of Time” was a gimmick. Yeah okay, obviously it didn’t work for “Nick of Time” because unless you are a Johnny Depp fan or know me very well you have a very confused expression on your face. Or a stone face. I never laugh at things on the computer. I just sit with my angry Asian face. Like right now because it’s cold.
Several bazillion years later, “24” took the “Nick of Time” gimmick and turned it into a successful TV show. Ah, Hollywood.
I said all this to tell you that I’ve just finished Mikafying my phone and now I feel much more colorful and am very happy. All that’s missing is the laugh ringtone. I can’t wait to show Miya. That’s Miya, not Mika. I did a double take when I went through my post to add tags.
Today I went shopping with my family, mostly my mom. ‘Twas a fiasco. But of course I just made many angry noises and exaggerated my angry Asian face instead of lashing out in typical teenage fashion. I remember that guy who came to talk to us in 7th grade Speech class. Excuse me, old guy. Description is good. He said “You think that passive agression is the right way? WRONG.” Or something like that. I don’t really remember because he kind of annoyed me. He was supposed to be really important but of course no one had ever heard of him except Mr. Raabe.
Whatever. Passive agression is very stealthy. And stealthiness is key. Cue Mrs. Beauregard’s affirmative nod to Violet.
Basically, I think my mom’s subconscious was stealthily preventing me from buying anything. Oh well. My subconscious is getting revenge because we’re going shopping again tomorrow – just for me. As my dad put it, “I guess we’ll have to accompany you tomorrow.” Accompany. Huzzah.
I realized beside the necklaces at Nordstroms that I’m a pretty calm teenager. I don’t mean comatose. I had my teenage angst (“Eraaaaaaaaase”)phase in 5th grade. Which would make it preteen angst…how I wish the Simple Plan days had never happened. So I’m pretty calm except when I yell at my dad. Hah. What a fail thing to say. Hypocrite much.
I watched some “Wonder Pets” today on Youtube. Youtube is not kind to “Wonder Pets”. Yes…I watched it because of Mika. It’s kind of sad that most of my discoveries and likes come from random obsessions. It’s the only way to explain my tolerance of “Mr. Tambourine Man”. It’s not a bad song, but I’m biased.
I feel like an imposter.
Okay, I am. But not like those people who went on Family Feud dressed as celebrities. Here’s looking at you, short balding hunchbacked man who only DRESSED exactly like Johnny Depp but did not sound like him. Shun. Shuuuuuuun. Shuuuuun.
Ooh. Another fail. I just glanced at the title and remembered my sisters’ current obsession with 20 questions. Today Jocelyn discovered the wonder that is the 20 questions machine. You know, the little portable purple (huzzah!) game.
This morning my thing was “love” and the clue was “Everybody’s going to do this today”. No, it wasn’t too hard. My sisters live with me, they know references. But they failed me and answered things like, “wake up”, “go shopping”, “sleep”, etc. I sighed and hummed it stealthily, and after a bit longer Shannon guessed it. Huzzah.
Oh yesh. Another six degrees I encountered today. I was eating at the Target food court thingy, and as I stood up to leave the lady sitting at the table behind us was staring up at me. And she looked like the lady in CatCF who offers Charlie $500 for his golden ticket.
My sister agreed. Huzzah.
grapes 